Soul Searching

December 7, 2010
Let us discuss teenage soul searching, shall we? We shall! Recently, not exactly recent,but two years ago I changed my life. I went to another school, and I had never switched schools before. At first, this didn’t seem all that scary, but then reality snapped in. Boy, oh boy, I wasn’t ready for that. Well, I was already established at my school, and I’d like to believe I was a part of the “lime light.” I thought I wanted something new, but I soon found I thought wrong.

Leaving the school and transferring,was challenging for me. I transferred wanting to experience new things, be around different types of people, and I had not fully examined what that meant. I was caught by surprise when life began to change for me, and I was no longer myself. I felt like I was incapable of being myself, and being comfortable with that change. Life became hazy, my number of friends lessened, and the girl that reflected in my mirror every morning became less and less of me.

I hated it. I despised it. I taught myself to hate the people in the school, the school, and its foundation. I didn’t understand why I hated it so much until I realized that it took me, my character, and my mentality and twisted them all. Well, maybe it was my ex-guy friend who did it, and I just blamed it on the school. I’m still not sure. These changes caused me to take interest in new hobbies and habits, all that weren’t of my normal activity. I searched in the church. I searched in the halls. I even searched at games, and I then learned there were only certain places I could be and remain sane. I taught myself new tricks and learned new ways to live.I listened to new music and met different people. I searched. Still, my niche remained unfound.

This experience has helped me to become stronger and more comfortable with myself. So comfortable, I’m comfortable with others’ flaws. Soul searching is a great experience. It may introduce us to flaws we absolutely hate about ourselves, but it helps awareness. I wonder, am I the only teenager soul searching at such a young age? Is this soul searching? Are there other ways to soul search(meaning different methods)? Does everyone search the same way? I wonder.Please discuss, I’d like to learn and discover.

Sincerely Yours,

ShellBelle524





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