May 4, 2010
All I remember is the sight of my mothers face as she walked through the door, she tried to hide the pain but it showed all over her face. Mom didnt say a word about what happened that day to me nor my little brother. She put on this act that made it easy for me to see right through. It only took me a few minutes to figure out that my mom had lost her job.

Naturally I began to worry about the situations that might come in the furure.It was the thought of us having to cut back on money. Bcause I am spoilled this becoming a part of my life now was a challenge. While going through her depressed stage, I began to blame my mom for everything. I wanted to understand what she was going through, but i couldn’t. During the time I was being selfish, I didnt stop to think about my mother’s feelings. She lost her job and there wasn’t time to worry about me and my drama. I know I made things harder than they were suppose to be, but I was still unable to realize that it wasn’t always about me. I kept thinking in my mind that “this is really happening”. I continued to ask for the new things I wanted, but I constantly got rejected. I didn’t understand the word NO, it was a word my mom rarely used until now.

I started to blame others for my problems. How did it start? Me not taking responisibility for my own actions. I lied and put pain on others so I wouldn’t have to be the only one in pain. My mother is a person in my life who I admire, I became foolish and started to take her for granted. She has always went out of her way for the needs of my brother and I. When I took time to think about my actions I realized how childish I had became. Life is like a rollercoaster, it has its ups and downs. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes , some greter than others , but don’t let that get you down. You live and you learn , don’t waste time thinking about those mistakes . Just move on and remember what you have learned.
Going through this selfish phase I realized that situations are not always easy,that’s just the way life is. Life isn’t fair, it doesn’t always go as we intend it to. Times might be rough but that doesn’t give us the right to blame others for our pain. If you blame others for your pain are you making the situation any better or are you making matters worse? The comparison of life as a rollercoaster is true, but does the rollercoaster ever stop and stay where it is because there is a big drop ahead or does it keep going to see where it will end up in the future? Life isnt always a written fairytale and I learned that the hard way.

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