When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to hate Chemistry, and be deprived of the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, and a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and the pursuit not to take part in any more Chemistry Classes, and to further more never hear it mentioned again in their life time. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men and schools, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed and schools, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, including Chemistry, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness, which includes kicking chemistry out of the policy. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer chemistry, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed, like the teachings of bad history teachers. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations including the duration of a long chemistry class, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government and teachers and especially Chemistry midterms, and to provide new Guards for their future security such as: I’ll never take a chemistry class again. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies and DOHA M.; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government such as no more Chemistry Class. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations such as making me endure all these Chemistry classes all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
She has refused to not let me attend her classes
She has forbidden me to not take my midterm
OBAMA has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of people who hate Chemistry.
She has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing my plead for not taking my Chemistry midterm,
For taking away my Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, like not taking anymore Chemistry and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
She is plundering miseries, ravaging my coasts, burning my towns, and destroying my life
In every stage of these Oppressions I have petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. Exactly
I must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
I, therefore, DOHA M., of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance chemistry class, and that all political connection between them and chemistry, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States FROM Chemistry, And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm allegiance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor TO NEVER TAKE THAT CHEMISTRY MIDTERM.
— John Hancock
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark DOHA MOUSSA;
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton