Strict Parenting has a Negative Effect on Teens | Teen Ink

Strict Parenting has a Negative Effect on Teens

May 19, 2019
By Anonymous

Does strict-parenting influence teenager’s behavior? According to a clinical psychologist and author, Dr. Laura Markham, strict parenting can create behavioral problems. Strict parenting has been proven to cause teenagers to be more likely to break the rules, fall into drugs, and to be more aggressive. Teenagers who have very strict parents are usually not allowed to figure life out on their own. These teenagers almost have a censorship to everything because of their parents. Strict parents don’t give their children a chance to solve a problem on their own or to learn how it feels to get hurt by another person, which is an essential part to growing up. Teenagers need a chance to experience the world themselves without their parents constantly hovering over them.
Many parents seem to believe that by keeping their kids living under hard and strict rules, that will keep them on a straight and narrow path in life, but that’s not always the case. New studies in The Journal of Adolescents suggests that teens who can’t speak their mind around their parents seem to be more disrespectful and engage in delinquent behaviors such as stealing, hurting others, and/or substance abuse. Teens have been starting to not view their parents as role models but instead as the “bad guy”. Rick Trinker from the University of New Hampshire conducted a questionnaire on middle school and high school aged students. It was conducted over an 18-month period and questioned the student's opinions on their parent's discipline style. According to the study, “authoritarian parents are most likely to raise children who are disrespectful of parental authority and/or engage in delinquent behaviors”. The overall results of the study suggest that teenagers should have a voice, but not a vote. Parents do have the ultimate say over their children, but when parents take their child’s opinion and view on something into consideration, they can for a more loving and bonding relationship with each other. Teens that have a healthy relationship with their parents are proven to make healthier decisions in the real world. “Strict parents tend to lack communication”, says Trinker. Communication tends to be the underlying factor between strict parents and delinquents. If the teens figure out how to communicate their feelings better and the parents figure out how to listen better, the relationship will continue to grow and make an overall happier family.


Strict parenting can often result in families failing. In the book When Families Fail by Ann Holmes, many families are completely torn apart by strict parenting. Holmes states, “Family members with poor communication tend to minimize their feelings, sometimes to the point of being numb”. This can cause teens, and occasionally parents, to fall into a deep hole of depression. When teens feel that they can’t go to their parents for help or advice, they feel as though they are alone and that no one can help them. These teens may often keep to themselves and be very quiet. Strict parenting can cause them to feel unworthy or as if no one can trust them. This can then eventually lead to aggression or hostility between parents and teens. Many studies conducted by Ann Holmes, with the help of Carol C. Nadelson from Harvard University Medical School, prove that unhealthy relationships will also have teens be more likely to fall into drug and alcohol abuse. Once a teen has turned to substances, it gets much harder to fix the relationship. The teen will start to keep to themselves more and not want anything to do with their parents. It can even get to the point of teens running away and not returning home due to their faulty relationship with their parents. Not only does the environment at home get negative, but also at school or any other public place. Teens will tend to take their anger out on teachers or peers because they know they must keep it bottled up at home. Strict parents do not have to completely change their rules or way of living. Teenagers do not deserve to always get their way. They aren’t quite old enough to make decisions on their own, but when parents at least listen to their children's feelings or where they’re coming from, the entire mood and energy of the household will become so much more positive. When the teens and parents find a way to empathize for one another they become much more understanding.

Another result of strict and over protective parenting is teens with psychological disorders. There are many different psychological disorders that teens can have according to Kathryn Hatter from Cornell University. The three most common forms are over-dependence, self- esteem, and self-discipline. Over-dependence occurs when a parent is too involved in their child’s life. The teen will become overly dependent on their parents and cannot make decisions for themselves. The teen will not be able to independently make decisions necessary for growing up. The next disorder is self-esteem. Since strict parents want their child to listen to every piece of advice they give, teens will feel self-conscious about themselves if their parents don’t support them. They will also often feel fear or failure if they try something new or take a chance on something that they believe in. Strict parents can also interfere with a teen’s development self- discipline and responsibility. Strict parents often assume responsibility for controlling their child’s behavior and actions, their child misses the opportunity to develop certain internal skills that help them to discipline themselves in various situations. These three conditions can cause teens to feel worthless over time.


In conclusion, strict parenting has a negative effect on teens. Teens and parents all over the country are affected by strict parenting. The best alternative would be for the teen and parent to meet on a middle ground. They can both compromise to please the other person. A middle ground will not overly upset neither the teen nor parent. If the teen or parent is being hostile, nothing in the relationship will get solved. Finding an alternative for being too strict or overprotective will result in a happier, healthier, and overall more loving family.


The author's comments:

This article means a lot to my family. 


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