December 20, 2017
By KyRMarie GOLD, Wentzville, Missouri
KyRMarie GOLD, Wentzville, Missouri
19 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The cold wind whipping my hair behind me, freezing my nose as the leaves slowly drift their way down. My face burns from the tears, my breaths shortening with every passing moment. Ben has been gone for months and my heart still grieves for him every day. Just breaking at the thought of having one more moment with him. I look at the tombstone beside me. Long may he live in our hearts. Ben, the brother, son, and boyfriend we all love. The words on the stone, cold as the slab of rock. If Ben were still here, he’d laugh at my sorrow for him. Pointing out how capable he is, that he is more than capable of taking care of himself. The corners of my mouth lifts slightly at the image of us arguing.
  A tear slips, burning against my skin.
  Then my thoughts drift to my apartment I left only minutes ago. Me leaving Ty alone and bewildered from everything I threw in his face. Laughter erupts from my chest uncontrollably. Never have I ever spoke in such a way to anyone. I never would have dared to do so in any millions of years. It was, empowering! Like, since Ben, I’ve finally had some sort of control.
  A pool of regret slowly churns my stomach.
  Maybe I was a bit too harsh, and I may have overreacted about Ben a little, but I loved Ben. How could Ty say any of those dreadful things about him?
  He may have always hated Ben, and Ben did have a special hate reserved for Ty specifically, but I couldn’t hate either of them. Ty would always disappear into the shadows when Ben would come up.
  My chest slowly starts swelling with a slight twinging pain.
  I knew Ty had a thing for me, I wasn’t blind, everyone knew; but yesterday, all the hatred, and the anger, and the pain unleashed over a boy calling Ben-  I-.
  My heart twists, I can feel it suffocating in my chest at the mention of the memory.
  Before I let everything loose, I never thought he of all people in this town, would have defended me. Ty made the foolish boy stop, condescending him until he could feel my worthless pain through his words. None of it makes sense; last time Ty and Ben were in the same room, I walk into Ty shouting and screaming in Ben’s unmoving face. “You never deserved her! You lead her on, you claim to love her, but you go on and on! If you don’t stop before she gets hurt, I will kill you.”
  Ty and Ben always fought. That much was normal almost like a daily chore, half of that time I’d just laugh it off and call both later, but Ty’s words still rang in the back of my head. Nagging. “I will kill you.” I might not know what they were arguing about, but a simple fight? Could a simple fight have driven him over? The words repeating over and over. I will kill you.” The reality hit me like a freight train, the fog rapidly clearing from my clouded mind, but my lungs suffered more.
  “No.” the sound small and meek, everything starting to spin like a carnival ride. Faster and faster, space started to enclose around me. The trees suddenly getting taller as air fails to reach my lungs.
Images flashing rapidly through my head like a movie, replaying all of my life’s moments. Of me and Ty! Ty, watching me around every corner, down every hallway, defending me at the new club three months ago. Being the shoulder I needed to cry on at Ben’s funeral a month after that. The childhood memories of us climbing in the oaks, sitting next to each other on the swing set. All these months, could he really have been so jealous of Ben he’d-
  There is just no way. This is Ty. My body no longer supporting its weight, I lean towards the cold slab of stone. My thoughts moving forward with its film. I know Ty though. He’s the boy who’d help baby birds back into their nests when they fell. Ty, the boy who’d walk little children across the street safely back to their parents.
My heart aching, emotions flying.
  This was the first boy I loved since Ben’s death. Why would-? How could he-? The questions rising, terrorizing me until it was the last thing I thought.
  I struggle to stand up, the world still spinning around me, I grip Ben’s cold stone for support as I get up on my wobbly legs failing to function properly. Taking a deep breath, I let out a shaky breath. I have to find Ty. There has to be some explanation, right? Yeah. Assuming he doesn’t kill me first. The sight of him being a maniacal murder sends a shiver down my spine.
  A stick snaps behind me. I turn abruptly, only to be met with a large object, slamming into my temple. Feeling the gravity pushing me down as I hit the back of my head on the tombstone, the world tilted upside down. I lay there against the stone useless, defenseless, and slowly going unconscious. Shakily, I raise my hand to a warm spot growing on the back of my head, slipping down the back of my shirt. Sticky and heavy, my hand drops. Too heavy, too weak, I turn my head as black, fuzzy edges start to cloud my sight, slowly drawing me into a black empty space, but not blocking my attacker’s face when he kneels in front of me. I gaze at the blue sea eyes of the man before me, wearing that black leather jacket I gave him last Christmas.
  “Ben?” My mind racing for answers, for some possible explanation.
A burst of all the memories we made, swarming my mind. The first date when he took me ice skating. The rush I felt every time he took my hand. That heart-warming smile I saw every day.
  The air that once stayed in my lungs, vanishing as the black edges creep closer.
  How could he be here? Then I see it, the masks he wore. How many there were. My heart grieving for that boy I loved, who never existed. For the boy who truly died.
  My face wet, eyes burning as I watch him, watching this monster, the one who killed my love all those months ago, as his lips curled into a twisted smirk as I slip into the darkness.

Similar Articles


This article has 0 comments.

Parkland Book

Parkland Speaks

Smith Summer