the Haunted Mantion

One day i was with my friend and we were playing and game it is used with teniss rackets and you see how high you can hit it and i was the highest. we went back indie and i say a note from my mom this is what is said," Boys i have went over to the new naubhors house to give them a welcoming treat." Both me and my friend were saying why does she have to be so kind now we had ot stay insid e the whole time until she got back and that is not fun at all. I was starting to get woried because my mom still hasent come home for about three hours now. i went overe to the naubhors house it was quite scary. went in the house and there was this reaky smell. it almost smelled like dead bodies. i went up the stairs. the stairs creeked like and dog growling at you. so i went into the bed room still no one. i looked in ther closet and BOOM there ws my mom there laying on the ground and my heart skiped a beat. that day i will never in my life forget.





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LastChapter said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 1:19 pm
uuuh, you spelled your title wrong. i think its "mansion". but aside from that, I think the writing was very choppy, and I became instantly confused. I'm sure with a little revising (and a dictionary) your second draft will be much better.
 
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