One day Maria was walking to her best friend's house, her name was Lucy. Right when she was about to cross the street to Lucy’s house she saw that the door was wide open, then she saw a man in all black with a gun. In a panic she ran to lucy’s house to find the home quiet, she went to go check the rooms when she stepped in a large puddle of blood, too scared to move she looked up to the blood coming from the attic maria reached up but couldn’t reach the rope to pull down the attic door.
Maria rushed to the restroom to get a stool, she got back and scared to pull down the rope she pulled it down in a hurry to be face to face with lucy’s dead dad; she ran out of the home in hurry to the nearest gas station.
Once Maria got to the gas station she used the payphone to call the police, “Hello? Hello?, is anyone there please help my friend and her family are dead, please someone help!” maria screamed through the phone.
“ma’am please remain calm we’ll send someone over right away, what’s the address?” the operator replied “ it’s 402 Oak Lane….East Oak Lane… please hurry!”.
Soon police arrived at Lucy’s home and put the bodies in the body bags and took them away to be examined at the lab , Maria stood in front of the house in shock of what she happened and what she had witnessed.
“I’m sorry about your friend” the man said and he strolled up to the crime scene, “she was my best friend, wait? how did you….” maria looked at the man to see him wearing all black and that’s when it hit her, this is the man who killed her friends family. “It was you! You killed my bestfri-” the man had already drugged her and taken off with her. The police a few months later found her body. And that was Maria’s worst day ever.
Good job--It could have used more character development and maybe more details of setting?