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The Thing.

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It was a dark and stormy night, and I was running – more like stumbling – across the muddy soccer field. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t find my voice. I wanted to take a rest, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. I would die if I did. Or, at least I thought I would.
There was something – something unnatural – following me. Chasing my, really.
I wanted to wake up from this nightmare, to be able to say to myself ‘It was just a bad dream’, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. This was real. There was no way of denying it.
Then, suddenly, I fell in what had now turned to mud. My body hit the ground with a soft thud.
I couldn’t get up. My legs were aching.
I finally managed to sit up.
Then, I felt a cold, bony hand on my shoulder. “Hello, Claire.” It said. He sounded human, but I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t see his face in the dark.





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

bodyrocker said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:20 am
Hey, i love your peice it reminds me of a story i like when i get the scary storie books at the libary
 
Gazellarendra said...
Dec. 9, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Very good. Could use some improvement, but overall well-written. Again, avoid careless mistakes and over-used lines like, "It was a dark and stormy night." Good work :)
 
JessW. replied...
Dec. 9, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I accually agree with yew. when i look bak at this, i always want to rewrite it, and i have. about 3 times, accually! I posted one new version, and ill be shure to post another soon!
 
JessW. said...
May 14, 2009 at 12:19 pm
OK, I re-rwote this article. heres the link
TeenInk.com/raw/Fiction/article/106684/Untitled/
 
JessW. said...
Apr. 29, 2009 at 10:35 pm
im rewriting this text, cuz i reread it, and i agree. it could use some improvement. and im also adding some at the end, cuz i got this idea, and so im gonna add that. and i didnt take ur advice as harsh. Ive taught myself 2 take advice as constuctive critasism. so thnx. give as much advice as you want. i dont mind.
 
pinkvolleyballgirl said...
Apr. 29, 2009 at 8:34 pm
much talent! I rly hope tht u didnt take my advice as harsh, i was rly just tryin2help bcuz i saw the comment u made on the bottom of ur piece. U dont have to even listen2my suggestions, its ttly okay:) Katelyn H. Check out iLove or Heartbroken or my profile(:
 
pinkvolleyballgirl said...
Apr. 25, 2009 at 2:52 am
You are not a bad writer, but u certainly have room for improvement. Dont be discouraged, instead be encouraged that u started writing early. Here are some suggestions: In your twilight article as well as this one, you have many spelling and grammatical errors. (actress is spelled wrong in the other article. And in this one, there were many awkward lines: "I would die if I did", and "chasing my really.") Try rewording some things to make it flow better and avoid those careless mistakes. I think... (more »)
 
LastChapter replied...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 2:20 pm
This is such a helpful comment! I wish everyone commented like this. I have to say I agree with a lot of what you were getting at. Its great that you care so much.
 
JessW. said...
Apr. 6, 2009 at 10:03 pm
plz comment. I need 2 know if I'm any good at writing. its my plan B in life, but I dont think I'm any good. So, plz comment and tell me what you think.
Thnx, Jess W.
 
JessW. said...
Apr. 6, 2009 at 8:56 pm
I know, bad title, but i couldnt think of anything til' after I submitted it. sry 'bout that
 
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