I’ve changed the future and now I’m going to change the past. So I can still be there. So I can still see her grow. I won’t leave. I will fight. I will change the past so this never happened. But my time is counting down before I can change it all. Change the mistake I made when I ruined everyone’s life. Mostly mine.
I wished, harder and harder. I breathed, faster and faster. I thought, slower and slower. You talked, softer and softer. Stop, you kept going. I got left behind as you kept running because I am gone. But am I really? Can I change this? Believe, the only way to look when every other option is gone. Us, there was no us anymore now that I’m gone. There is you, not me. I think you’re there. You’re not. I’m not there. I talk, do you listen? Probably not. I pause, but the room keeps spinning. I’m just one person in one sky. Alone, one dot in a million. Can I find you? Do you even know I can come back? No, you think I’m gone for good. Home, there was no home waiting for me on a rainy day. There was just this place. It was white, white and lovely. But it wasn’t home, not even close. It was the opposite. I couldn’t call it home because it had no one I loved. No her and no him. No difference. No light nor dark. Just… Simple. No home or hotel. Just… Sameness. Okness. Just…
When I was born I was different. I was told that I was different. Not physically, mentally. People said my destiny was different. Was it my eyes? My smile? Just the way I was? People said I was special. Not as a compliment. So that’s where the name comes from… Destiny. People thought by naming me this I would one day find the truth. One day change my way. Oh, trust me, I did. I am on this earth to change it all. I was given this power. I don't know when or how I got it. But I can time travel and change the past and this is my plan. To fix the damage I have done. To go back to her and tell her the truth. Tell her that I am coming back. Tell her I’m not gone for good.
She was the only family we had left. Hope, my little sister. My baby sister. She is 5. She is smart. Smarter than most 5 year olds are. She’s not in kindergarten, or first grade. She skipped grades. She is in second grade. I home schooled her for preschool and kindergarten. They tested her. She was smart. Extremely smart. She was extraordinary. She was unique. She was conspicuous. Was always the odd one out in the crowd. She probably got it from our dad. He was a scientist. Found out many amazing things. She was a baby when our parents left. I have been taking care of her ever since. We were best friends.
Just until I left.
One minute, my life flashed before my eyes. As I closed my eyes, lights were still blinking. Within my closed eyelids, darkness scattered while black and white specks were everywhere. People were hovering over me. Voices flowed throughout the empty space in my head. I pondered what was happening. I was there again. In the room, where I almost lost my life. But this time the problem wasn't going to be patched up with a bandaid.
My life was lovely and pleasurable. Except, it was gone with the snap of my fingers. Speeding through the emptiness of my body. Leaving earth and entering another dimension. Some people called it heaven, others a new home, I called it “the place.” It had no name but the afterlife. It was beautiful. The smell of roses filled the white clouds that was supposedly the ground. I thought I saw angels. I couldn’t make this place feel even a little comfortable, I was leaving, I had to help my sister. I wasn’t going to leave just like my parents did. I wasn’t them. I was me and I was going to help my sister no matter the cost. Hope, the only way to dream when every other option is gone. Hope, my sister who I was going to fight for. The thought of angels and living in a beautiful utopia was great, but the world down below was better. It had Hope.
“Destiny.” I could see her. I could hear her. The soft whisper of her tears. Who would take care of Hope when I left? “Destiny.” With each word came dozens of tears. With each of her tears came mine. I knew she couldn't see me, but I could see her and the more I saw her the more I cried.
“I’m coming back. I’m coming back,” I screamed. No matter how loud I screamed no one could hear me. She couldn’t hear me.
“I’m coming back!” I screamed, I yelled. My broken heart dragged me to the ground. No matter how hard I pounded on the ground I wasn’t falling through. I wasn’t coming back. I had this power, but no instructions on how to use it. I had no guidelines. My life wasn’t some set of instructions I could read every time I messed up. I wrote my instructions. I would rip and re-write each page every time I messed up. But this was it. It was now or never. I had to fix this. I closed my eyes. The sound of people came back to me. It got louder and louder. But it slowly faded away. My eyelids were glued shut. I tried to open my eyes. Did I come down from “the place?”
“Destiny,” the sweet little girl’s voice surrounded me. “Don’t leave. I love you.” I unglued my eyes and opened them. I spoke just a whisper. “The place” gave me just a second to say goodbye, for now. Just for a second I got the chance to speak to her. Just for a second.
“Don’t worry. I am coming back. I will try. Trust me.” She gave me a slight nod and off I went. I felt the swift touch of the sun and away I went as dust. I could feel her pain. I had empathy for her broken heart, but I would patch it up when I came back.
Time travel. Do I raise my hands up and do the abra-cadabra thing? Do I use telekinesis or what? I thought, thought hard. I thought about a time in the past. The dust in “the place” sparkled and glistened as the room started spinning. I was sucked into a tunnel like a tornado. The breeze picked up. My hair covered my eyes, and the wind was too powerful for me to move my arms. My leather coat unbuttoned. Suddenly I was there. The moment I was thinking of. I had left “the place” and entered my past. Right before the accident. Right before I left forever. There was Hope and the man. The man in the black clothes. The man with the gun. The man who killed me.
Hope skipped through the grass as I walked towards her. I grabbed her backpack and she ran to the car. It was locked. I didn’t have the key. I couldn’t find the key. He had the key. The man who killed me had the key.
“Not so fast.” He blurted out. I saw him raise his gun. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew it and as he did it he regretted it.
“Move,” he commanded to me. “Move or you’ll both die!”
He screeched expecting me to move. I stood there. I wouldn’t save my life and let Hope die. He pulled up his gun. It slowly clicked into place. BOOM. He pulled the trigger aiming for Hope. I ran. I jumped. The bullet hit me. Right in the heart. I saved her life for mine. If that was the cost, oh well. There was no blood. The redness of pain. There was none of that. This man didn’t know the symbol of life and what it is worth. My coat, unbuttoned. Her coat, all clear. People rushed me to the hospital. It was too late. I was gone the second the bullet hit me. I went back to “the place” thinking of a new plan, a better one.
A foolproof one.
I need to fix this moment from happening. So everything can be okay. How do I come from the present and redo the past, again? I thought hard and harder about this moment in the past. Before all the chaos happened. It was in the morning. I closed my eyes and thought, harder and harder.
There I was. It worked! I was loading Hope into the car. She was still munching on her breakfast. Within all that food in her mouth I could see a smile underneath. I ran. I jumped into my past body. Suddenly, this all felt like the present. Suddenly, I had entered my past. It was time to change the damage I had done! This was extraordinary. Not everyday a person could time travel. But how, how can I do this? How can I time travel? I had no time to worry about the science behind this. I had a life to save.
“Destiny! We’re going to be late!” Hope hollered.
“Ok. Hold on.” The words just came out. I had to act stronger than my past body. Suddenly, without my decision, my foot pressed the gas pedal. I did not follow the choice I had made last time and started to re-write history.
“Come on, Destiny, I don’t want to be late!” Hope was anxious to leave.
“No! We're not going to school today.” I spoke as if this was the present, but I was actually redoing my past every second I was here.
“Why? It's my show and tell day today.” She muttered. I saw how sad she was, but if I didn't stop what was going to happen she would be sadder. We got back in the house.
“Because something bad is going to happen, and I am preventing it from happening.” I knew she was disappointed. “So we are going to wait here all day until school is over. I will call you in and say you're sick.” I grabbed the flip phone out of my pocket and dialed the school’s number. The raspy sound of the phone calling sent chills down my spine.
“Hello. West Highland Elementary. How may I help you?” A women spoke.
“Yes, um, hi! It's Destiny. Hope is my sister and she is sick so she will not be attending school today. She will be back by tomorrow.”
“Hope she feels better. Bye, bye.” She hung up the phone without one second to spare. I closed the silk curtains. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the man. The man who killed me. I ran and closed all the rest of the windows and locked all the doors. I set the house alarm on lockdown and that was it. I was changing my past and saving my future. The man had a note in his hand. I couldn't make out what it said but it did have an address. It was scribbled with messy handwriting. From what I could see it said: 3917 Al Surma Ave, West Highland Way, 10277 OREGON. Maybe I had better eyesight than I thought. It was my address on the note! It wasn't just a coincidence that he was there at the school. He was looking for Hope! She was being hunted. She was prey.
We had bulletproof windows and doors. I mean, it can be a little scary only having us two girls in the house all alone. Anyone could come in and we would be helpless. I am not super woman with amazing muscles, although some people are. He saw me. The killer. He saw me. He didn’t notice me. He kept walking. I looked out the window spotting our address. Leaves were covering the 9 so it looked like an 8.
“Whats going on?” Hope cried.
“Get down. Get down now!” I knew how frightened she was. I could see how afraid she was of me and of what I was telling her to get down about. But, if the wind blew, the leaves would move and if the man came back he would see the address. So, before I leave I have to change our address for good.
“Hope, I will be right back, or my past body will be right back.” I spoke questionably. I had some leftover black paint from a school project I was doing with Hope. I found it under a pile of random stuff stacked on a table. I grabbed the rusty metal paint container and found a paintbrush and ran unnoticed to the front yard. I quickly unlatched the top of the can and paint spilled out. I painted an 8 instead of 9 and a 2 instead of a 1. I thought hard and harder. I had to leave. I had to go back to “the place.” My time was counting down.
Here came the tornado of time travel. I got sucked into the clouds and brought up, up and up. Finally landed in the murky white clouds. I waited 1 minute and then another 2, 3, 4. 5 minutes has past. Nothing. No falling from the sky. No magic. No people. It didn't work. It didn't work. What went wrong? I sat down. I sat down for hours. Waiting to fall. No luck. Not yet. Not wasting a single second, I thought. Thought about the man who killed me. He wasn't after me. He was after Hope. I knew this because he was aiming for Hope. Not me. What did he have against her? What did she do? Does she have powers as well? No she didn’t. She absolutely couldn’t. The thought still made me ponder. How could a little girl be targeted? A man went after my father and mother as well. Before they left my parents told me it wasn't safe for them to be around us. But why Hope? She wasn’t special.
Wait, before my dad left he gave Hope the blueprint to one of his greatest inventions. Was that it? Was that the reason why he was targeting Hope? Did he just want the blueprint? I had no time to think about this… The swift breeze picked up. My hair swirled around me. My jacket came off. I was falling, falling down. I didn't look up. I didn't want to. I wanted to leave. But I didn’t know where I was going. I looked down. There was a body lying there. About to be unplugged. It was me! It was me! Was I going to be alive? Was I waking up? The doctor-- every second, every minute-- was one step closer to pulling the plug.
“Wait, I am coming!” No one could hear me. I didn’t even know if I was coming down! Everything was blank. It was black!
“Destiny! Come on. We are about to pull your plug!” Hope screamed. She cried. I wonder what she is thinking. I wonder. I tried to open my eyes. Something was pulling me back. Something or someone was telling me I should go. Go back to “the place.” I wasn't listening to my conscience. I wasn't listening to anyone or anything except myself. It was my choice. It was my choice to change everything. I opened my eyes, but for some reason I didn't see anything. Did I go back to “the place?” Was I still on earth?
“Hope. I am so sorry sweet little girl, but we must remove Destiny’s life support. We have waited long enough.” He walked over to me. Lifted up the damp towel on my face. I opened my eyes. I saw the sun. I saw people. I saw Hope.
“Wait!” I daintily lifted my arms. They felt so weak. They felt useless. Like everything else did right now. Everyone looked dumbfounded after what happened. Hope ran over to me. She hugged me, then waited for my response. I gave her a gentle hug back. Did I change my past and fix this messed up future? This all seems too good to be true. I mean, does a person have time travel powers? Or powers at all? This all has to be a dream. But something was telling me it wasn't. It was true. I was special. I did have a destiny. I did change my future. I proved them all wrong. From what I know. I was the first person to time travel. I was the first person to save Hope.