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The Diary of Theadore Smarnstein
April 5, 2017
Today started out pretty normal. I woke up at 6:30, took a shower, ate breakfast, and went to work. It was only until I got home when something unusual happened.
As soon as I walked in my house, I noticed a bright green and rather ostentatious envelope in front of my door. The mailman must have pushed it through the mail slot. Who else could it have been? It immediately stood out to my eye next to the very plain decour of the rest of my house.
I grabbed the envelope off of the floor and walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. I slit open the envelope and found, in the same color of the envelope, a note and several other pieces of paper. I first read the note.
Hello Mr.Smarnstein, we are pleased to tell you that you have inherited a beautiful five story mansion house in England. All you have to do to claim this inheritance is to spent a night in the afore mentioned manor house. Thank you and good day.
I sat there reading the letter over and over again until I finally took notice of the other pieces of paper folded inside the envelope. Enclosed was the address and several pictures of an amazing house on a beautiful fifty acre estate. But, there was also one other thing of peculiar interest to me, written from the previous owner of the house. I dismissed this as silly twiddle.
I could hardly believe my luck. I was the sole owner of a huge mansion. I went online and bought the earliest ticket to the airport nearest the estate. I was going to England.
April 6, 2017
When I got to the manor house several hours, a plain flight, and a car ride later, I was ecstatic. The house was gorgeous and I couldn't wait to claim it as my own. And all I had to do do claim it was spend one night in it. I couldn't believe my luck!
I got out of the car I was renting and walked into the house. When I got inside, I got the strangest feeling that someone,or something, was watching every move I made, but I dismissed it. The house had everything: a high definition 4k flat screen, surround sound, a mini fridge couch, basically everything you could want. I plopped my bag down and I started to enjoy myself.
It was only until several hours later did I go to sleep. Going to sleep, I once again got the feeling that I was being watched.
It had barely been five minutes since I went to sleep but I was awake again. I wonder what woke me up? I went back to sleep immediately still wondering what woke me up, since I was usually a heavy sleeper.
I woke up for the second time in ten minutes. This time, I laid awake upon my bed, to hear what was making me wake up.
This time, I heard what was waking me up. It was a loud booming sound, coming from the basement. I got up and started to head to the basement, to find out what was making such a large noise.
When I got to the basement, I was surprised to find a ginormous and extremely thick door, which probably weighed several tons bolted into place. I was even more surprised to find the banging was coming from the other side of the door. Whatever the iron door was holding captive, it was obviously something extremely dangerous. So, naturally, I had to open the door.
I unlocked the bolt and immediately, the door swung open. I barely avoided it enough not to get crushed under the weight of the door. Inside was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen. A huge coffin, painted on which was the most horrifying face I had ever seen. The coffin was jumping up and down to move, which had created the huge booming sound I had heard before. I did the only thing I could do. I ran.
Iran up the flight of stairs and hid in the bathroom. I could hear it booming across the floor, following me. I knew that I only had minutes to live. I searched the bathroom for anything of use which could help me. My hands closed around a glass bottle in the cabinet. I took it out and read the label. Perfect.
As I waited for the coffin to burst into the bathroom, I formulated my plan. When the coffin did indeed burst into the bathroom, I was ready. When next it jumped, I tossed the glass bottle into the opening between the lid and the coffin. It stopped abruptly in its tracks and moved no more.
Now he finally understood the previous owner’s letter. He could never sleep because he was always coughing. Good thing cough medicine makes the coughing die down.