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Can't Let Go of the Past

By , Davenport, WA

There are those moments where you want to turn the clock around. The moments when you want to just close your eyes, hoping it was just a dream. Those moments when you lie there numb, not knowing what to do. This was a moment when all three came into play.


Sitting in fourth period, knowing that lunch is coming up in fifteen minutes. Laughing with my best friend and disturbing the class like usual. Not thinking about how anything bad can happen to us. Especially in a small town that no one ever hears of.


My teacher picks up his phone for one sec, and as I watch him, his eyes open up wide and he runs to the door. He closes it and tries to lock it but in all his panic, he accidentally breaks the lock. He whispers, with a little bit of yelling, “hide, all of you. NOW!”


Scared to death about what's going on, I hide in one of his cupboards and then I hear the gunshot. All I can hear is screaming and yelling… and then nothing…


The door to our classroom opens up with a bang. In comes the guy with the gun. The guy with a crazy look in his eyes. He was my best friend’s ex-boyfriend… He looks around crazily and yells one name.. My best friend's name.. I peek at her, hoping that he won’t see her and all I can see is her crying. My best friend who never cries. Who never once says ow or even looks scared.


That moment our eyes met, I knew something was going to happen. She slowly crawled out of her hiding spot and when he saw her… I knew.. I KNEW IT… I watched as she slowly fell to the floor, holding her stomach… She mouthed I’m sorry at me.


I was in shock.. I couldn’t move.. And then anger soared through me and I’m jumped at him… He was able to get me in my calf but I didn’t care. I kept moving…


I grabbed his gun out of his hand and was able to knock him out… But my best friend was dead.. Is dead.. .and I’ll never see her again… But he, he’s alive...


I have to live with the thought of never seeing her again but I know, somewhere, she is happy.. Wherever that is, I hope she knows I always think of her… I hope she knows I am sorry about never saying goodbye…


You can’t let go of the past when it involves someone you love getting hurt.




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