Sorrowstar

Oakley James died three months ago. Some people have different ways of telling the story, some may say I was just trying to get revenge on what he did to me in Freshman year. No he didn’t hang me from the flagpole by my underwear like the bullies did in the movies. What he did was much worse. It was unforgivable.

On September 9th,2014, I got a friend request on Facebook from a girl  named Olivia Nicole. She looked familiar and it seemed like she went to school with me, so I accepted it. Approximately 30 seconds later  she messaged me and said,
“Hey, you're cute.”I responded “Thanks you are too!”
We talked for a while after that..I started liking her. We kept talking a lot after that day. On October 15th, she asked me out and I said yes.I told her all of it,everything that was going on at home. That was the worst part. On January 17th I told Olivia I loved her then I left for school.
School was never any fun for me because Oakley was my worst nightmare. He would scream angry things at me in the hallway.Call me a freak and  tell me how nobody liked me.  How I should kill myself... Everyday of my Freshman year this happened.
I went home and was looking forward to texting Olivia. When I got home my Dad was drunk as usual but this time he was awake.. This meant the worst I sat down  on the couch, asked dad how he was doing he grunted in disappointment. I told him I was going to my room to do homework.. Olivia called me around 3:30 we were on the phone for almost an hour when my dad came in I threw my phone on the ground and that's when my dad staring hitting me and punching me.  No doubt Olivia heard everything. When he was done using me as his punching bag picked up the phone and told her I was going to bed. The next morning I got up and tried to cover the bruises.I went to school and Oakley was at my locker I asked him what he wanted and he said for “you to die then he left”.

  October 15th was mine and Olivia's one year anniversary told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me.We talked for a while after that and I went to sleep. I woke up late the next morning and was late to school. When I arrived at school I walked into class and everyone laughed at me then looked at Oakley it was free hour, so Wesley pulled out his phone and showed me the video.. Oakley was Olivia all along.. All of our messages had been screenshotted and were blown up and portrayed all over for the whole school to see. Everything I told Olivia.. How my dad used me as a punching bag, I told her how I hated Oakley, and so much other personal stuff and now the whole school knows. After seeing that I ran out crying. I wanted revenge. I thought of multiple ways..
The one I liked the most was kill him. No not committing murder, but kill his pride. Oakley and Wesley went to this little cafe every friday after school the coming up Friday I followed them. I saw them order and sit down I took pictures for evidence. When they were done they threw their plates away and grabbed hands ¨Snap¨ I took a picture.
As the went out to the car before the got in Wesley stole a peck kiss for Oakley ¨Snap¨ another picture. I went home and developed them and had them blown up and made hundreds of copies. That morning I got up at 3:30 and made some posters that said Wesley Jade and Oakley James are gay. 
I hung them up all over school under the pictures. It was around 5:30 when I was done and school started at 6:30 so I went to the closest gas station and bought some chips and a Cherry Coke. By time I had gotten back to the school it was 6:00 so kids were pouring in I started video recording Oakley and Wesley were the last ones there. I got there reaction on video. Since neither of them were out yet it basically ruined both of them. I was late to my free hour because I went home and changed. Oakley and Wesley were both in the assistant principal's office when I went there to get a pass to class. I took one step in the room and Oakley yelled,
¨YOU!!!¨.
I just laughed and said, “Karma¨.
School went on for a couple of weeks without any sign of Oakley or Wesley. I thought things were great. Until Thursday November 14, we get an announcement over the PA system saying all sophomores please report to the auditorium. We all left and when we arrived in the auditorium we were seated by our homeroom teacher..
Mr.Waters announced that Oakley Michael James had gotten into a car accident and that he was drinking and driving and he saw a little kid and swerved to miss the little boy and he went off the road and hit a tree. He died on sight.
Nobody else was crying, but I felt the sudden urge to start crying and I did. I never got along with Oakley, but the thought that he was drunk possibly because of me and my dishonorable actions  was enough to make me cry. I only wanted to kill his ego, pride, and alpha mentality. Not to have him actually die. I will forever feel regret and remorse for my stupid selfish actions all I wanted was revenge for him to pay for what he did to me all through middle school and now my first two years of high school.
The funeral was a few days later. We were all required to a letter to put on his casket before they buried him. Mine went a little like this.
Dear Oakley,
I'm sorry you had to go so quickly after just sixteen short years. I hope all is well with you and I'm sorry that I posted them pictures of you and Wesley. He's  doing good. He misses you, I can see it in his eyes. I also miss you. I know that's something I would never say to you when you were alive, but I do I miss your hatred towards me even though I never knew why you hated me, but now I do now because I hate me too. I´ll never be the same especially after this happened.
A few months went by I haven't heard anything about Oakley until the police came knocking on the door of my house they asked to question me and my dad we both agreed they said that they found evidence that my dad was being physically abusive, I lied to the police and said that's not true my dad loves me. Then they showed me the messages between me and ¨Olivia¨ who was actually Oakley. They arrested my dad and because I was sixteen years old I could stay at home. I started thinking Oakley didn't do that to bully me, he did it so I could be saved from the living nightmare I was living through everyday of my life. I never hated myself so much than I did in those few moments I never even asked Oakley why he did it or why he cared so much if I was being hurt at home. I was so hurt by all of his actions I only wanted revenge, that was the only thing I cared about. Revenge may seem like a good idea in the beginning but it only leads to pain, depression and suffering.Oakley hated me, well  now I know why because I hate me too.






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