My heart beating furiously like a drum; my hands trembling as I cling to Hope’s mane as we sprint down a bare and lifeless valley. The wind roars with rage as the sting of the rain sends adrenalin coursing through my veins. My long dark hair flows over my deep blue eyes, blocking my vision. My tall lean body fits perfectly on Hope’s dark chestnut back. I trust my horse to take us to safety because I can’t see through the mist of the downpour. All I know is I need to get out. Away from everything that gives me nightmares when I go to bed. In panic I glance behind me to make sure no one is following us, I can’t see anything behind me except for the remains of the gassy poison that was let loose in our town. My home, my family, my whole life was being silently destroyed. Why did I always have to be the one to survive? Why couldn’t I be the one stuck in that deathly poison?  My mind is racing with a hundred questions, causing my head to start pounding. My heart aches every time I think about all the people that have been killed over the course of these few months. None of those people deserved to be killed in such an inhumane manner, they were innocent citizens, they didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. None of us deserved this torture.

2 months earlier
“Emily! Come down and get your breakfast before it gets cold!” It’s a normal, clear and sunny school day in our small town of Rockford. All the younger children get up to attend school which starts at 9:00A.M. The older children, like myself, get up to attend training; where they train you for the career path you want, but they also train you physically and mentally to prepare you for the future. “Coming!” I yell as I come shuffling down the long spiral staircase. I can smell the bacon sizzling on the stove as my mom quickly shoves it onto my plate as I waltz into the kitchen. My mom looks very similar to me, tall, skinny, blue eyes, long brunet hair. There is one difference between us, skin color, she is very tan, while I am very pale which causes contrast between my dark hair and my light olive skin. “Smells delicious mom.” I say as I take a bite of bacon. “Mm… You’ve really outdone yourself this time.” I say giving my mom a friendly smirk as I continue to eat my breakfast. “Well I’m glad you enjoy it; now remember you have to be at training at 9:30 so don’t procrastinate now. Oh and before I forget, your father said he will be home early, around 5:00 tonight so we can celebrate Natalie’s birthday.” Natalie is my 10-year-old sister, it’s weird to think that she is 7 years younger than me, her mind is so mature and wise for her age. Natalie is the smitten image of our dad, ginger haired and blue eyes, very athletic and smart, yet also very kind and caring.  “Alright, I’ll be ready in time don’t worry.” I say through a mouthful of eggs. “Natalie! Come on down for breakfast, you’ll be late for school if you don’t hurry it up!” My mom yells up the stairs to my sister. At first there is no answer; but then we hear her loud footsteps come pounding down the stairs. “Happy Birthday!” Me and my mom say in unison. The look of surprise and shock washes over Natalie’s face. “Wow I almost forgot it’s my birthday Ha! Thank you guys, but I don’t think we should do anything extravagant for my birthday. I just want it to be like a normal day ok?” “Alright… are we allowed to buy you a cake?” “Or sing you happy birthday?” Me and my mom joke as we both start to laugh. “Yes you guys can at least do that for me.” My sister mumbles while giving us a smoldering look. She’s never been one for parties or jokes, which is unusual for a girl her age. She is much too serious and strict about her school work. Sometimes she’ll stay up in her room for hours just working on homework, I don’t know how she does it but she always gets a consistent A in all of her classes. “Alright honey you need to head to the bus stop before you miss it. And you need to think about leaving for training.” Our mom flashes us a reassuring smile as she picks up our plates and begins to wash them. Me and Natalie glance at each other for a second then proceed to walk out the front door. As we leave we shout “Goodbye mom!” Natalie sprints to the bus stop to wait for the bus, as I wave goodbye to my beautiful mare Hope. I walk up to my new shiny silver car and pull out the keys from my front pocket. The rise in crime rate and the start of a new terrorist group, Osama, has me paranoid; so I always lock everything up. I get into my Ford and sit on the smoldering hot black leather seats, I start the car and reverse out of our long driveway. I’ve always enjoyed my rides to training, it gives me some time to think things through and to relive any stress I may have.

Once I arrive at the Training buildings parking lot I take the key out of the ignition and sit back in the driver’s seat with a heavy sigh. “The hardest part is getting there.” I tell myself “Just get it over with and go inside.” Once I have the motivation; I quickly get up and shuffle inside the sliding glass doors at the entrance. I’m greeted by happy and familiar faces, Tom, Jenny, Anika, all of my friends are already in the training room. I always tease them about being overachievers, but maybe I can learn something from them, maybe I should consider not being such an underachiever. I break my gaze with them and proceed to the women’s changing room, once I am in the appropriate clothes, I too go inside the training room, ready for another day of learning and hard work.  
Another day done and It leaves me exhausted, when I look at the clock I panic, it’s 4:50! My mom warned me that dad would be home at 5:00 to celebrate Natalie’s birthday. Why am I always late? I always seem to mess things up. I speed through town trying to beat him home. My parents are very strict about curfew, and I think I’m in for a real talk tonight.

I finally arrive at home; I sprint inside and shoot a quick glance at the clock and my heart sinks in my chest. It’s 5:30, I’ve never been this late, I knew I shouldn’t have stayed after to talk and catch up with some old friends. It’s over and done with now, I just need to confront my parents. I walk into the living room where I find both my parents hunched over on the couch, when they see me they stand up and rush over to me quickly. “Emily! Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you. You never get in this late!” Before I can speak my dad chirps in. “Do you know how much we worry about you kids when you don’t show up on curfew? Do you?” There is a long silence, I am at a loss for words. “Come on Emily speak up, where have you been? We have a right to know.” I gather the strength to speak and all I can say is a pitiful “Sorry.”  I hear a faint noise in the house somewhere. “Hey guys come up here, quick!” Natalie shrieks from upstairs. We all go bolting up the stairs and crash through her bedroom door. “What’s wrong honey?” says our mom worriedly. “Listen…” Natalie points to the television “The terrorist group by the name of Osama is wreaking havoc in our cities, officials believe their next target may be the town of Rockford…” at that moment we all silently gasped as Natalie flings herself on our mom and starts weeping. “It’ll be okay sweetie.” My mom coo’s reassuringly, but the look on her face says differently. We have heard about Osama and their vicious attacks on Americans for the past week; but we never thought they would ever get this close to our little town of Rockford. All we can do now is hope and pray that nothing will come of this, and mentally and physically prepare for the worst.

Two months later:
It’s another dark and dreary Sunday, not very unusual during spring time. I can hear the gentle tapping of rain on the window, I look outside and watch the dark grey clouds move gracefully through the sky. It’s 6:00A.M. so all my family is still in bed, I’m always the early riser. I grab my coat and trudge out the front door to feed my Horse, Hope. At the entrance I can hear her soft whines and nickers telling me she’s hungry. I grab some of her feed and throw it into her stall. While she’s eating I stroke her dark elegant head, the warmth of my touch seems to sooth her. I carefully take her out of her stall and climb onto her back, I love to ride bareback. We prance into the corn field behind our house, riding is when I get most of my thinking done.

My mind drifts from one subject to the next when it eventually stops on the thought of that news report we got a few months ago. Nothing ever came from it, the Osama terrorist group has seemed pretty silent: yet I have a feeling something big is going to happen… and soon. Right at that moment I hear a loud ear-piercing sound. Something that you could only hear on a movie, it sounds like it is coming from behind me. I bring my mare to a holt and turn her around, my heart shatters at the image I see. I stare at the green mist rising into the clouds, one look and I already know what it is, poison gas, we learned about it in training a few days ago. It only takes a matter of seconds for the poison to take affect and kill someone, I’m too far away from town that it is hopeless to go back and try to save anyone. I sit in the middle of the field weeping and sobbing, thinking if I had only stayed inside the house I would be dead too, but at least I would be with the people I love. I feel as though I’m seeing the world from a million miles away, my heart feels so heavy like there are a thousand elephants standing on my chest. My only instinct is to run, run away from all the miseries of life. I grab Hopes mane and command her to gallop, while whipping the tears from my eyes I look up to see an empty valley, I can’t help but compare it to how my heart and soul feels; lifeless and bare. I’ve seen the darkest side of the world, I’ve witnessed death before my eyes, I’m no longer a young innocent girl.  I feel the innocence I once cherished has been ripped from my hands and torn into tiny little pieces in front of me. I suppose that this is what it feels like to suffer from a loss of innocence.