November 2, 2016
By , Louisville, KY
I stayed up one night because I knew I had an English paper due the very next day. I always procrastinated but somehow I was passing. This night felt different though. I felt a burning sensation in my throat. For some reason on that night I often found myself drifting off and looking at the window. The window was a small wooden frame that was nailed shut so cold air couldn’t get in. It was getting quite chilly outside and the heat wasn’t on. I wasn’t allowed to touch the heater when mother and father was on business trips. Mother says to wrap warm and eat some soup. It was so cold it was unbearable. My attention drifted to the window again and pondered while looking at the snow.
Although the snow is beautiful like kisses from angels, it was evil and disgusting like staggering fire dust from hell disguised as white crisp cold powder. The snow made earth seem full of frantic wonder and shivering unknown objects. Snow covers the earth like a blanket. Blankets keep you warm; I was not warm at all. My thoughts drifted me away from my homework, I was too tired to continue. I was slowly falling asleep. I had nightmares that night. The nightmares were horrible, in the deep part of my brain I knew they were pretend images but it still put fear in my heart. At last I somehow woke up drenched in freezing cold sweat. I stayed sitting in my bed fully awake as it seemed. I once again looked at my window.
I decide to get up and look out my window because I was overwhelmed with a frightening sensation. Almost as if someone or something put me in a trance and made me do it. I wasn’t scared because I was aware of what I was doing but I didn’t feel myself doing it. When I looked out I thought I was still dreaming. My brain couldn’t comprehend what my eyes were seeing. I saw a frail old yellow woman staring directly at me. She had torn dirty clothes exposing her aging saggy and drooping skin. Her hair was a mop of grey matted up on different strands. The old woman’s eyes were a grey foggy color like the sky on a rainy cloudy day. I inferred she must’ve been blind. If she was blind how did she know I was standing there. Her gaze was so strong. It never even crossed my mind why this random old lady was in my back yard in the middle of the night. Or how she wasn’t shivering from wearing torn clothes outside in the freezing snow.
I had noticed in her hand she clutched something so tightly. The gaze was so forceful that I felt I needed to see what she was holding. It felt as if she wanted me to see it. I couldn’t move, I was frozen in fear, I didn’t dare even blink. I didn’t have to move though. Eventually I realized she was getting closer and closer. I counted every second and millisecond. I feared for when she reached the window. I wanted to run or to scream but I couldn’t. Her cold, lifeless scary eyes casted a spell on me. Suddenly she was right in from of me. Although the window separated us I could almost feel her hot breath on me, I could almost smell the disgusting stone cold eyes I forgot what she was holding. Boldly I decided to jolt me eyes down. It was a picture! It wasn’t just any picture. It was a picture of a lifeless body. Long black hair draped over a skinny teen girl. Her lips were blue and her body was purple. She was laying in snow. Toes curled, her fists were clenched. Her jaw was tightly shut like they were glued together. Eyes bolted closed for a very long rest. I didn’t understand why she was showing me this. I analyzed the picture over and over. I looked down at myself because I felt guilty for some reason. I then realized the clothes I was wearing. They were the same clothes the girl in the picture was wearing. I was the girl, and I’m dead. I looked behind the old woman and my body was laying in the evil snow; the poison that killed me. I was laying in it and I wasn’t able to get up. I wished this was another nightmare, but I knew this was real.
I wanted the snow to clear up and go away. Maybe if that happened my heart would beat again, blood would pump through my veins. I was already lifeless. I looked cold, I wanted to hold myself to make me warm so I could wake up. I had no business mourning the death of myself. Humans mourn not the dead. After slowly realizing I was gone and that I have no use to be here anymore, I now finally understood snow was nothing like kisses from angels that came from heaven. It was the freezing awful acid from dark demons that came from hell.

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