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I Wish I Could

I could tell something was wrong with Riley.  She was on the couch staring into nothing.  She stared into the easy darkness of the lamp and the emptiness of the cup she was holding.  I watched her quietly, I saw her move and try to get up but failing.  Like a roll of thunder she fell and I was there to catch her.  She might have not seen that it was me, and she broke down.  Breaking down and crying in my arms I held on to her tight afraid to let her go and scared that she would break like a doll. 
“Kian?” She asked me, looking deep inside my brown eyes.  It felt to me that I can easily get lost within her eyes.  
“What is it Riley?” I spoke to her without taking my eyes away from her.  
“I got accepted.” At that moment in time my heart broke like a simple piece of glass meeting the floor.  I felt like I was drowning in my words but only to have a few be told.
"What is going to happen to us?" I waited and waited for an answer but nothing.Until she spoke.
"We can't do the distance, there will be another girl you fall in love with and leave me for her.  I'm sorry Kian, but it must end." Riley got up and started to walk away.
"Riley! Wait!" I ran after her, pushing through my thoughts of losing her and running towards the ones that made me think about her.  I ran down to the streets where I last saw her but nothing.  I saw nothing.  I screamed and yelled for her but she was nowhere. I tried and tried to find her but I felt lost.  I was missing the one person in my life who made actual sense to me, she made my problem disappear, when we were apart I felt like I was missing half of me.
"Riley, please come back to me..." I spoke barely above a whisper.  My voice was breaking from the cries that chasing my dry and cracked lips.  It make matters worse the rain started to kick in.  But there I was, in the middle of the pouring rain under a street lamp crying to myself.  I felt something rip through me, a scream, but no not like any scream ever heard before, it was one were you just realized that you lost the one you truly loved.  
"Why are you crying?" A voice that sounded so familiar to me but the memory was faded.  
"Sam?"
"Hey Kian..." 
There was the blonde haired bad ass himself.  He was standing under the umbrella waiting for me to answer him.
"So? You want to tell me why you are in the rain?" Sam stood above me chewing the inside of his lip.
"I lost her Sam, Riley and I broke up..." Those two words are the words I never would think that I would have in the same sentence as Riley and I.  
"Kian... I know she did... She told me she ended it and she is now feeling like s*** for doing so.." By this time Sam was next to me balancing on his heels.  The umbrella was hovering over me blocking the rain that mocked me.
"We should not be out here, Come on let's go." Sam said standing up but I just looked at him funny.
"I don't wanna go home Sam there are to many memories of her there.  I can't find enough courage to be in the same room as her." I looked down at my knees and the forming puddle.  
"She cleaned her stuff out before you knew she was breaking up with you.  Connor was there helping her pack." I looked at Sam like a deer in headlights.  
"But do you want to know a secret?" I nodded my head as I was done with stupid s***.  I was done talking about my relationship with them.
"This better not be s*** trashing Riley." 
"It is not that Kian, She admitted the night you passed out that she was married but we all thought she was drunk. But then she showed us pictures and we started to believe her." 
"Then Samuel WHY WAS SHE WITH ME!" I started to get up and stare down at Sam.
"1.Stop calling me Samuel, 2. I don't know 3. I was trying to be a friend and tell you this while the others kept their damn mouth shut, be happy that I actually cared obviously it was a mistake.  I tried to make her not leave you because I saw how happy she made you, I saw how much you cared for her, I even saw how much love you gave her." I was shocked that Sam said all this.  Was he really there?
"Sam what's happening?" 
"Kian you broke up with her, not she left you.  She drove you away.  It's been a year man, get over this girl." Sam said as he walked away seeing the grave sight in front of me.




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