You will never know

September 13, 2016
By , Leavittsburg, OH

"The only thing to fear is fear itself."-F.D.R. That is the code to my life. What’s the point of living without pushing the limits to the breaking point? That’s why tonight is the night i free climb that tower. No longer will I mosey in its shadow cower due to its size. The summit a country mile high is inches away. My fingers brush against the long untouched steel and that is the sensation i live for. A sense of nirvana overwhelms my body and as my eyes shutter closed I let go.

Never skipping a beat my heart continued it’s usual calm pace as I breathed through my nose. The wind made my ears ring and blood rushed to my head. My face continually got warm as my body froze and just before the brim of my nose touched the ground time stopped. Would this really be my true fate, to dive of a tower and end it all; it was. My lifeless body lay still in the grass and as I slowly drifted away I woke up.
The ear piercing beeping made me crack my eyes and come into reality. Back to the same routine wake up, go to school, go to sleep. No more, no less; skip on responsibilities and shrug of duties. I wished to be the one I dreamed about. The one people look up to, the one people respected, but yet there I was. Numb to life, not living. I feared how much people I would let down, the amount of people I would disappoint. So here I stand numb.
My life continued in its bore for a few more weeks until i got paired in a group with this kid Joe. He was completely different than me. Outgoing, loud, obnoxious to a point, but the best characteristic he had has was his carelessness. He too me under his wing almost like an apprenticeship. It seemed as if he knew what I dreamed I was and made it come to life. It takes a special kind of someone to leave their comfort zone just to enter someone else’s. He never asked questions, never forced me into anything, he just came into my life like he grew up with me.
The type of bond me and he developed was of the sorts that me and him could just look at each other and speak one-thousand words. I would risk my life for Joe and one day I needed to. Joe and I were in his depressed basement playing ping pong the suddenly it sounded like an eagle coming for its prey came from upstairs. The volley ended with tap…tap…tap as me and him stood stolid. It was in a matter of seconds that we stumbled up the stairs to witness his comatosed mother on the floor and a masked man scowering the house. I looked over at him and his eyes were glassed over and dilated.
I could tell his heart was skipping beats as mine was, then the masked man spotted us. Not even saying a word to each other he ran to the right and I went to the left. Bang, bang, bang a hail of bullets rang out and whizzed past. Synchronized Joe and I leaped at him. I went for the upper body and he went for the lower. The man collapsed and in a fit of rage I began to beat the man’s face in. Before I could realize what I was doing I could feel my knuckles split open and the blood ooze from his face. Joe threw me off the man and the gun into another room.
I began to relax very rapidly as I watched Joe call 911. Uncontrollably breathing heavy I put my hands on my stomach and they instantly got sticky. Realizing I was shot I took a deep breath and remained calm. As Joe frantically talked to the operator I looked over to his mom to make sure she was breathing. Tiredness rapidly consumed my body, then i was climbing that tower again. Admiring the serene view at the summit. This time I tried to hold myself up there as long as I could until my entire body wore out. My breathing remained calm and steady as I plummeted. Time froze once again and I woke up feeling Joe’s hands gripping mine and looking into his bloodshot eyes. I only had enough strength to grip back and say “ you will never know what you have done for me, thank you.” Blood rushed out my mouth as my eyes slide back closed. My body hit the ground and there I lay silent and motionless.

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