Drowning | Teen Ink

Drowning

May 13, 2014
By AshIsAVampire GOLD, Lake City, Florida
AshIsAVampire GOLD, Lake City, Florida
14 articles 10 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Would you destroy something beautiful in order to make it perfect?"

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Why? Why do I always feel like I'm drowning? Every time I actually find the energy to kick and push my way to the surface, invisible hands grab my legs pulling me back down. Sinking. Crying. Slowly dying. Will I ever break free from their hold? Can God actually hear my final prayers? My lungs are about to burst. I kick, I flail, but the hands keep pulling me deeper. The light from the surface slowly fades, until I am left in the eerie dark. Cold. So cold, I shiver. I try to inhale, but gag from the salt water that now fills my lungs. I scream, no sound comes out at all. I'm gone. I know I'm gone because I can't feel the pain anymore.



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This article has 1 comment.


Beila BRONZE said...
on Mar. 9 2015 at 1:42 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

In so few words, it is terrifying and gripping. I think that to produce even more of an emotional impact, you could lengthen it and elaborate upon the character. However, if the intention is simply to point out the experience and to shock us readers into thinking about, if only for a few minutes, then you've done exceptional work.