I awoke in a white-padded room. Not able to move,not able to speak. Just alone with my thoughts. The same white room I've been in for about two months. I haven't always been alone though;Weird people usually came in with needles and food. On occasion, a gorgeous woman and a young boy would come in. The women cries sometimes, kisses me on the cheek and leaves. Why doesn't the women stay? After all, this is my home isn't it? I mean of course it is I'm always here.


I'm surely not alone anymore, no, I hear voices saying, "It's Done."and that "I'm almost there." What does that mean? Am I being removed from my home? Am I going to die?Did I kill someone to be here?WAIT! I remember now this is NO home this is a Psychiatric Hospital?They said, "I was too ill,too mental,too BLAH,BLAH,BLAH," is all I heard. I never paid too much attention to them. Too far gone maybe. And that gorgeous women her name is Bre... no Jessica. Yes Jessica and the little boy. I mean my son his name is Billy. Oh how I miss them,Did they visit me today? Is this why she cries because of me,because of my mistakes?


They sedated me and it's getting harder to breathe. My vision is blurry and my speech slurs. Jessica came again, and oh how I much I miss her the warmth of her lips on my cheek. What did I do to die? I had a great life. A beautiful wife and a handsome son. What more could I've asked for? I close my eyes for a few minutes. Everytime I close them... I relive a nightmare that I regrett so much that I would do anything to restart it. The blood on my hands; I feel it all the time.I’m constantly washing my hands because I can see and feeling it dripping in my palms. "I was just trying to help."I had told her. "I wanted a good life for us to have a plan for our son. So he went to college,"but all that came out of my mouth was gibberish.


The weird people whispered among each other saying, "That this shot was my last." I'm still drawing a blank on who they are...nurses?Doctors?or the police? No, the police hold me down when I'm trying to break free of all the needles and the doctors. I hope Jessica knows that I love her and that I never meant for this to happen.




Jessica came again, probably for the last time, I told her that I loved her and she broke out in sobs. I reached my hand out to touch her cheek to wipe the tears off her face.




I am starting to drift off. I don't want to leave. I want to live my life and restart. I slowly close my eyes saying, "Goodbye," feeling the last warm kiss of Jessica's lips on my lips. "Goodbye, my love."