The Raven (My Version)

December 1, 2013
As I lie down on melancholy and shame, I force myself to indulge in a simple volume.

I am restless and sleep deprived. I'm pained deeply to the core and my mind is in forest lands. How I'm trying to concentrate and go on with the movement of life, yet how collapsed I am into the cemetery grave of Lenore. She used to be in the kitchen completing horrendous orders...horrendous orders made by me. I demanded her and twisted her bones until she broke. Her spinal cord was once so tall and exhilarating in length. But the day she died, her ligaments dangled in her cup of tea. She was capable of flying across regions and ducking under stampedes. She was capable of making the crickets stop cricketing. She was capable of making the moods of singsong birds appear anywhere. She was a light and I was the blinds. I came to adore her being and her flowery structure. I glowed with her rays and got involved in her hues. She's the muse I banished. Along our trails of sincerity, we became one with serenity. I don't understand what made me turn away the minute our love was casting a spell on me. I felt happiness and brightness with the maiden. But suddenly, I felt lost and worthless. I felt these emotions of wonder and resent. How composed and structured she appeared, when all I wanted was to spill paint on the kitchen floor...which I eventually ordered her to clean up. We had this thick string tied to each other. As a boy, I never spent so many seconds with someone before. I became fearful and bitter. I had all of these emotions and problems with me that I could never comprehend. I cast all of what I was onto her. But being the smart, knowledgeable woman she was, she never became a villain like me. But being so full of daisies and suns, she became trapped under my spell. She became a victim, a vulnerable, weak victim to me. Suddenly, I was granted all of this power yet I didn't ask for any of it. But the power just kept leaking into my room and under my sheets. I began using it once and a while. I began using it each week. But never had I thought I would use it every dim witting second until her stupid death. But she wasn't stupid. I was one without ever a good education. But I felt extremely intelligent and philosophical when I had the power over her. I ponder each night about her loss spirit. Each day I hear the raging I felt against her. I hear her wimpy cries and smell her dirty clothes. If anyone ever knew what I did to her, I would be executed or the townspeople would at least run me out of the country. How unfortunate I am to do nothing but live with what I have done! It is time for me to sleep and never again think of this. This is not my fault. It was never my fault. I am a pure man. I shall turn out the lights and-

“TAP! TAP!” What! What is this? Who shall come against my door? Who shall be banging this late at night? Would not this visitor want to show courtesy to neighbors and animals? I will only answer this door and off I will be to sleep like rockets pouring out of cradles. I rise barefoot and twist the knob. “Who are you, dear stranger?”, as I say aloud to the dark, still air. “Come now! I haven't got a minute to waste!” But sadly, nothing or nobody appears at my doorstep. Perhaps, I am hallucinating and dreaming of sounds no one has ever dreamed of before. I dissolve in my bedsheets again and wrapped the quilt around my existence. “TAP! TAP!” Oh no! I ponder what could this be...

After several and many attempts of finding out who is at the door, I have gone mad! I am filled with fire and may just pop like a balloon. Are the dear heavens casting this on me? Is God and the angels punishing me? Please! I beg and plead you spirits I do not know what it is you want. You man take anything, but just please let me return to my slumber! “TAP! TAP!” Alas! I hear something from my window lattice. This must be it! This has got to be the only solution. I glide softly and slowly to this sound and here I am enchanted! Oh heavens no! A raven sent from the underworld. This hellish thing only inches from me. How its demons eyes are shooting lasers through my spine. I cannot stand any more. I must sit and sit and sit. This raven so gently and nonchalantly claws its feet to my window lattice. How dare he! “How dare you cause all of this commotion. YOU FOUL BIRD!” I shout and shout and bend over on my knees gasping for breath. My mind and my brain are having a combustion and exploding I feel so weak, so intolerably weak. What is happening? This has powers! It is magical. No, it is dark magic. It's acting so evil toward me. It finds satisfaction towards my frustration. It is smirking and narrowing its eyes at my pitiful self. I am destroyed in the sacred ruins. “WHAT IS YOUR NAME?” Tell me your name, raven. Why are you here?!

“Nevermore”, quoth the raven. Each and every time I ask this bird for information. All he ever etches out is the strange name, 'Nevermore'. Please take this bird away from me! Go back to the underworld. Leave no trace of any kind for me. I never ever want to see you again! My shadow is next to this raven's shadow and suddenly, my soul is being lifted from my body. I am feeling pain in every atom that I am composed of. Lenore is hurting me. Lenore is feasting her revenge on me. Lenore is haunting me in the shape of a raven. Oh Lenore, how I am terribly sorry for your tragedy. I know I deserve this more than any soul on earth. I turned my fair maiden into my worst enemy. Alas, I turned my maiden into me.

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