Brick Wall and Ledge

October 21, 2013
"Trust your instincts," they said. "Don't look down and you won't be scared."
I have trusted others' opinions for way too long. It's no longer necessary for them to tell me lies anymore.
I feel like I am teetering over the edge. I have just enough balance to where I won't fall onto the sharp, red rocks below. Should I stay on the safe ledge, where everyone lies for my own good, or jump into the serenity of truth that lies on the other side of this impenetrable brick wall?
You can never trust anyone to tell the exact truth, I have learned. Nobody can tell you every exact detail. Nobody WILL tell you every detail. When there is no way to "spare your feelings" other than to lie, what do they do? Of course, they lie to you. Personally, I would rather them tell me the truth and destroy my feelings than have me be in the dark. When secrets aren't necessary, don't create them.
The ledge starts to shrink back, making it impossible for me to make a quick decision. Jump or be lied to? Jump or be lied to? I decide that it is better for me to learn what pain is like. I push off of the balls of my feet and dive into open air. The landing is jagged, but soft. Like a warm quilt strewn out on prickly gravel.
I now know how to deal with my pain, and am not guarded from it. I am now as impenetrable as the brick wall.

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