My Shadow

November 6, 2012
By Squish-y GOLD, Springfield, Illinois
Squish-y GOLD, Springfield, Illinois
18 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

My Shadow

I get the feeling when it’s completely dark; I walk out into a barren parking lot I feel like I’m being watched. Normally people get the eerie- crawly- chills up their back feeling when they’re alone, but no not me. I get that particular feeling when I’m in broad daylight or when I’m with my friends the feeling hits me in the face. Ever since the nightmares began that feeling has stuck to me like glue. Feeling eyes watching, following, and studying my every move like I’m some kind of lab experiment. Well I’m specimen number one and I know someone is definitely out to kill me.
Today clear as can be, sun shining not a cloud in the sky crisp cool air filling my lungs, the moment I step off the porch the eerie feeling hits me. I take a deep breath and slowly start to walk towards my car looking around anxiously when a figure catches my eye. When I turn my head I catch just a glimpse of a black hoodie fading away into the shadow of the alleyway. I frantically try to unlock my driver’s door and drop my keys when I feel a hand clamp over my mouth, everything fades to black.
Fast asleep in my warm bed is when nightmares come out to play. The same nightmare every time, I am always alone there’s no one to come to my rescue, no one but myself. Even though I can’t see him I know he’s watching I can feel his eyes on me following my every move. I look around for him, breathing heavy knowing he’s there I turn to run but suddenly he’s there right in front of me. I can’t see his eyes but I can feel them, feel them looking into my soul. I back away and run as fast as I can, that faceless man always finds a way to get in front of my like he has supernatural speed. He’s there in a blink of an eye.
Beep, beep, beep! I hear my alarm go pulling out of my groggy state. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train and the sound doesn’t make it any better. I’m so irritated. I pick the obnoxious thing up and throw it across the room. Annoyed, I slowly get out of bed so I can go investigate the damage last night’s one hour of sleep has done.

I see darker circles under my eyes, more red and irritated, looking paler compared to yesterday. I sigh deciding there is nothing to do to make me look any less than the walking dead, and shuffle back to my bedroom.
These dreams are starting to take a toll on my mind, jumping at every loud sound, and feeling like every person around every corner is going to chop me to bits. I see that faceless man more and more each day. I’m beginning to wonder what’s real and what’s not, but there’s no answer. The thing is there’s a connection to him. I haven’t figured out what it is about him that makes me have this feeling, but it’s there haunting me like a ghost on Halloween.
I get ready for school in about 10 minutes and I’m out the door, not stopping for breakfast, I’d throw it up anyway, caffeine doesn’t have its affect anymore. So I don’t try to eat anymore I have no appetite just the thought of food makes my stomach curdle and boil.
I get in my car and head to school to start another grueling day. I pull into my regular parking spot and shut the ignition off to wait for my boyfriend Kyle. Suddenly I feel someone right outside my window I dread turning my head because I have a feeling it’s not Kyle. Tap, tap, tap, on the glass I slowly start to turn my head I look out my window and nothing’s there all I see is the name of the school, “Moline High School”.
“Great, I’m paranoid and hearing things.” I say to myself irritated. Putting my face in my hands I hold back the urge to scream at myself. A second later Kyle pulls up next to me all smiles as always. His smile always makes me feel a little better. Kyle’s just not himself without his smile.
Kyle and I have been together for over two years and the strange thing is he knows me to well. Seems he knows everything about me and all that comes with, which is somewhat creepy. Then again I don’t care there’s nothing dangerous about him, he’s no Will. With serious control problems and anger issues he thought he owned me, he’d yell at me every time I was late for our plans or occasionally when I had to cancel.
Kyle’s nowhere that demanding or controlling, he’s just Kyle always there when I need him. He understands when things come up and I have to cancel our plans, he has no resentment towards unlike will did. So glad I broke up with him and finally had freedom. It was hard to do but it needed done or I’d be stuck with him.
“Good morning Jennifer. How’d you sleep?” he asks even though he knows I didn’t. What’s the point in even asking if he already knows?
“I never get any sleep anymore, you know that. Um Kyle, do you ever feel like you’re being watched or someone’s out to kill you?” I say without thinking and he looks at me with a raised eyebrow but he answers without question.
“No, is that why you’ve been acting so weird and you look paler every time I see you? Is that what your dreams are about? I think that your mind is trying to tell you, you need sleep.” I hadn’t said what my dreams are about and if that’s what’s bothering me. I hadn’t told him why I’m not sleeping at night, how would he know what’s been going on with me.
“Um, Kyle I didn’t say anything about my dreams, how did you know that’s what’s wrong?” I asked suspiciously.
“I just figured that was the reason babe that’s all.” Looking taken aback by the question stops walking, looks me in the eyes and answers without hesitation.
At home I try to choke down dinner with my parents. I do the best I can I manage to swallow about 4 bites of the food on my plate which my parent’s still don’t seem to notice as they go about their bickering not once glancing at me. They always seem to do that when I get home, I walk around the house doing what’s needed of me. Unnoticed, it’s always the same routine around here if I died they wouldn’t even know I was gone. It got old fast and I just got use to it.
Doing my homework takes the effort of an elephant trying to fit in an eight foot tall doorway. I crawl into bed and wait for sleep to find me at about three-thirty in the morning.
He’s back. Same black hoodie, same nameless face, and still glaring at me waiting for me to run, this time I don’t. I just stand there I stare straight back at him wondering who he is and what he’s got to do with me. I take a step towards him he doesn’t flinch but something appears in his hand, something shiny and glistening. It’s a knife. Still I stand there waiting for him to make the first move I’m not scared anymore I just want to know why I feel this connection.
I want to know who this man is ruining my life. Apparently he gets fed up with waiting and makes his way towards me. He grabs me by my long brown hair and jerks my head backwards to where I think my neck might break. The shadowy figure puts the knife to my neck, presses down hard so I can hardly breathe.
“I want you to suffer. You were supposed to always be mine. You won’t be able to do much of anything after I’m through with you.” He whispers in my ear. He’s so close I can just make out the color of his eyes, a very familiar blue. He kisses my cheek, as an evil smile appears on his face as everything starts to fade out.
“I was supposed to be who’s?” I say sitting up quickly out of breathe, rubbing my face trying to displace the dream that seemed all too real. I fall back onto my pillows I see that it’s five in the morning. I sigh and lay there till it’s time to get up and force myself through another day. I was supposed to be whose? Echo’s in my head.
I keep wondering who’s blue eyes were in my dream as I walk downstairs, Could it be Josh’s the guy I barely knew when I he asked me on a date, and I had said no because I was dating Kyle. Nah, he smiles at me every day in the hallway at school he’d never hurt a fly.
Today’s so clear, clear as can be, sun shining not a cloud in the sky crisp cool air filling my lungs. Suddenly the feeling hit’s me just like it always does, square in the face. I find myself scanning every alleyway, every shadow cast by houses, and under very car. I slowly make my way to my car trying to breathe and looking around anxiously.
Even though I had maybe two hours of sleep I’m wide awake, hands are shaking so bad it’s rattling the keys in my hands.
“Come on already come out and get it over with!” I say fearless of whoever is out there waiting to grab me. I turn my head and a figure catches my eye as a man wearing all black fading into the shadows. Soon I regret everything I had just said. I’m so shaky and scared that I drop my keys, just then all my fears come true as a hand clamps over my mouth so I can’t scream.
“A little shaky today are we? I’ve been waiting for hours for you to come out so I could make you squirm and jump at every shadow there is. Well I guess I’m the shadow, now jump.” He laughs in my ear. The bad thing is I do jump. I remember my pocket knife that I’ve been carrying around ever since the nightmares started, is in my pocket. Maybe I can reach it.
I’m too slow and the man yanks at my hand and twists. I feel the bones crunching and snapping as he does this, I feel my hand begin to swell. My hand just dangles there I can no longer move it, soon he has a white cloth over my nose, and everything seems to be getting fuzzy until there’s utterly nothing but darkness.
I wake up in a dark room and the evil creature is sitting in a chair in the center of the room staring at me, he no longer wears the hood up. I can see his face clearly my eyes widen as I begin to realize who it is. It’s not at all whom I expected it to be, its Will.
His blue eyes burn my insides and that creepy smile chills my skin. The knife he has in his hand makes it all the worse.
“Don’t try to run we’re far out in the woods no one will find you. You’ll regret not telling your parents where the cabin I took you to two summers ago is, long after you’re dead. Maybe if I’m feeling generous I’ll leave them a note telling them where your body is after I’ve killed you.”
“They won’t care so don’t bother,” I say a matter of fact, “Why are you doing this?” I say choking back tears of pain my hand lay still crumpled but screaming at me, it’s on fire.
“You made the promise to me that you’d always be mine and never leave. I hate when people break their promises, just like my parents did, now their dead too. Oh and if your parent’s don’t care then you’ll be very happy that I brought someone here that does.” As if that were something to smile at he does but in a somewhat sad-happy way. He disappears for a second and comes back dragging someone by the hair that’s tied up. I want to scream and yell but I can’t give Will that satisfaction. Kyle is laying there looking at me with tear filled eyes and shaking his head, mournfully. I want to reach for him but I have to restrain not wanting to draw more attention to myself or him.
“Why, Why, WHY! He did nothing to you! You’re a sick, sick person. Torture me and leave him alone!” I was screaming as tears of rage streamed down my horrified face.
Will walks towards me, grabs me by the hair and starts dragging me to the kitchen where he lays me on a table and straps me down. Before I can say anything or rather scream he lifts his knife and plainly stabs me in my stomach. I scream in agony as I feel my blood seeping through my shirt. Will leaves for a moment to get the love of my life so he can watch every second of my death. I wish I could punch Will but with restraint’s makes it impossible if only he knew what’d I’d do if I weren’t strapped down.
“Now would you like to know how you breaking my heart felt? Felt like you knocked me to my knees and I had no more legs or arms.” The knife slowly starts cutting my left leg off. I feel warmth spreading over my leg and it starts to get cold as my blood leaves my body and splashes on the floor. There’s no fight or scream left in me I can’t even make out a word not even a whimper. I hear liquid go splash, drip, splash.
I continue to black out and come back when both my legs are gone and my life about over I don’t feel the pain anymore as he starts cutting off my remaining limbs. I only feel the tears coming out of my eyes the only warmth there is, my only though is how Kyle will survive and make it out of here.
“I loved you and you ripped my heart out. Now as the last thing you feel as I take your life just as you took mine away, is your heart being stabbed and ripped to shreds. Just like your words did to mine.” He kisses my lips and he smiles not a creepy one but kind. He lifts the knife and comes down into my pulsing heart.
Blood splatters his face and he looks surprised that he had actually done it. The last thing I see is a tear sliding down his face and falling to his knees, and Kyle crumpling as his world is shattered. The last thing I hear is him saying “I loved you.”
Darkness floods my vision for the last time.

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