Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

The Girl Who Drowns Fish

Blue, that’s all I remember. But that was all I needed to, the blue and the burning. The burning that came from my heart and spread all through my body. Pain generously spreading to every cell of my body, as if I were being burned and skinned, all at the same time. The more I think the more I remember. Bubbles, big bubbles in the frost-bitten blue drifted urgently away from me.

It’s strange, I’d always loved Cas, as a friend, ya know. But as he held me under, not willing to breath in, to gulp the precious air, greedily suck in the sweet oxygen I had to hate him. The water it was so cold, no air, no relief, but he had to do it. Or at least that’s what he told me, if he threw me in it would stop burning, failing to mention how I would stop breathing.

Now, naturally he didn’t say when or why. Why in the world he did it, or when for that matter. He said he didn’t want me to be anxious or know how he was going to do it. But the funniest thing is, was, I trust him or trusted him. I’m so confused because alls I can see the beautifully clichéd white light except its being blocked, obscured, stolen from me. Its all being stolen from me, or what’s left anyway. My visions already gone and I cant seem to, I cant seem to, I cant seem to, I ,I cant seem, I, I cant, to, it seams I can’t…




Join the Discussion


This article has 22 comments. Post your own!

drwholock101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 23 at 8:07 am:
Wow. That was really good. What I'm wondering is what was happening. I can tell that someone was drowning the other guys but why? I guess not knowing makes it even more amazing but not knowing will probubly bother me. lol.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
BeautylovesBeastThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 30, 2013 at 12:39 pm:
Great job you really put a lot of emotion to this story.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
TraceS. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 26, 2012 at 7:58 am:
Excellent. A little hard to understand, but overall very well done. I love the images I got when reading the first paragraph. Part 2?
 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 1:50 am :
thank you, i appriceate it, i'll try to do better and that part two is comnmin
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
MeMadiGraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm:
I love the description and how you don't know whaat is going on it has a really good hook
 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm :
Thannks, im happy u got wat i was goin for
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
_betweenthelines_ said...
Jul. 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm:
I really love it!! Its very descriptive, and I can feel every emotion that the character is feeling. I would suggest that you edit it a little more... but besides that, well done and keep writing!
 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:57 pm :
Thank you so much, i really appriceate that, i'll edit the next entry even more
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Turtle_Princess said...
Jul. 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm:

WOW just wow this peice is so amazing. The emotions are so real I feel it all as I read. I would love to read more of it. 
keep up the good work!!

and if you wouldnt mind checking out some of my work it would be greatly appreciated. :)

 

 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:55 pm :
thank you so much, of course i'll read your post, pls tune in next time to see what happens next
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
JRayeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:59 pm:
This is great! Some parts are a little hard to understand, but all in all I really like it. The ending is my favorite part, honestly.
 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:23 am :
Thanks, in the nexp part i'll try to clear it up :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
A_Journey said...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 10:31 am:

Wow this is amazing! Definetely make a sequel :) I feel as if I'm talking to the character because the imagery is good, but not so detailed that it would take away the conversational tone. My favorite line is "beautifullly cliched white light" 

 

And im sorry for asking, but I dont know how else to get the word out. Could you check out my pieces Smooth Criminal or The Sound? Thanks!

 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:22 pm :
Thankyou, i apppriceatetour feedback and im glad you enjoyed it, of course i'll read tour peices
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
albinotiger said...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:29 am:

One word : BEAUTIFUL!

(maybe check out my stuff sometime) 

 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:23 pm :

of course i will! thank you so much for the feed back, if u tune back in i have more pending

 

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
awesomelyme said...
Jul. 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm:

This poem is beautiful. The imagery is just so descriptive and the grammar was powerful. as i read it i feel like something in me feels that same burn. I really love yur poem and yu should absolutely never give up on writing

 

 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 3:25 am :
thank you so much, that was so nice of you and it inspiers me to wanna write more
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
DanielM said...
Jul. 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm:
Great job! Great imagery. I really like your beginning sentence. This was really good. Suggestion: expand more write a chapter 2
 
ShadowAngel2468 replied...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 3:26 am :
Thanks, i deff will, i really appriceate ur feedback
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback