I slammed forward as the brakes screeched and the car suddenly stopped. I felt something bouncing off from the roof of the car, and falling as if a big heavy rock had dropped from a fifteenth floor to the ground. I heard him a big sigh, and swearing silently. He must have been stirred by what has happened. I noticed him lighting his cigarette as he got out of the car. The smell of tobacco filled my nostrils unpleasantly. After a while, I heard his steps heading down towards the back of the car to check what had happened. A few seconds later, he opened his trunk and put the object inside. I could feel the heaviness and size of it, as my back slightly tilted backward. I was trembling; everything made me feel sick, felt nauseous. I searched for my smooth rubber rectangle phone to keep it with me.

This time the smell of cigarettes and the coldness spread even more in the car as the men entered. He faced my way, and said, “ Nothing has happened ma’am, don’t worry. It’s only a dog, a big dog.” He stopped for a while, as he expected me to speak after him, but I didn’t. He kept speaking to kill the silence in the car. He said, “there have been lots of stray homeless dogs lately, and I don’t know what the government has been doing to get rid of them.” I was frightened, not because he was rambling about the dogs and how they are treated, but, about something. I couldn’t open my dried lips. It seemed to me as if he wanted to have a brief conversation about this accident. Awkward silence has been again filling the inside of car, and I heard something being unlocked and heard glasses touching one another. “Here, drink this coffee, it’s warm.” I hesitated taking and accepting it, he suddenly grabbed my hands and gave me the warm coffee cup.

Then I saw him wearing his gloves again to get to the destination. Right before he would turn his key to make the engine work, I tried to separate my lips, which were sealed and dry for the past fifteen minutes. I was shivering so much that I didn’t know what I was thinking of. I wanted to say that it was not a dog, it was much heavier and the sound of it when it fell right after it bounced off, was more like a person. My body was stiff, and trembling. My hands were as cold as ice, and my heart was beating very fast. I wanted to move my arm to the right side to reach the trigger, but I was trembling so much that I could barely reach it. I suddenly touched the cold metal, and pulled as hard as I could.

It was pouring with intensity as I remember. I could feel the raindrops falling down right on top of my long hair, and few seconds later, it all was soaked. I could barely hear the taxi driver’s voice, his voice bounced like bouncing back my ear.

… And that’s all I remember the day.




“Ok, so what is it that you want to tell me now?” The forty-ish year old guy asked me. For some reason, I couldn’t spit the words out of my mouth anymore. I stared at him for a while helplessly. I only wanted this man sitting in front of me to listen, but he appeared to be annoyed by the whole situation. Maybe the reason why I cannot keep on explaining might because I lost conscious after I opened the back door of the taxi, and then was sent to the hospital.

“Mrs. Katcher?” He pounded on the dark brown table with his fingers. I was then, nervous again as he seemed to rush me into the point of describing this accident.

“Um... I’m sorry Mr. Meyer... but that is it.”
“What do you mean “that is it”? He raised his eyebrows.
“That... once I got out of the car, I don’t remember anything.” I kept both of my hands under my pockets as they were starting to get cold, making my body cold as well.
“But, Mrs. Katcher, we can’t help you if that is the only information you have... Plus, what you’re trying to tell me here is very vague and abstract. It’s not concrete at all.” He sighs.

I think he is really tired as our conversation about this has been going on at least for an hour, over and over again. I didn’t know what to say, so I looked down at my grey shoes beside the chair legs. A silence maintained for few minutes, and lots of sighs from Mr. Meyer.

“Here is the thing, Mrs. Katcher. Why don’t we wait a little until an accident like this happens again but with other person else? Maybe then, we can sort it out one by one.”
“Ok... but can you at least try to investigate... I mean, analyze a bit more based on the information I just told you?”

He stares at me with his mouth a little bit open, and says,
“How many times do I need to address the same thing over and over for hours? I said, again, you don’t have a concrete piece of data for me to investigate, or whatever you call it, analyze... I apologize if I was rude, but that’s it. That’s how the system here in police office system works.”

I couldn’t hide the frustration and disappointment towards the inspector. I thought I was right enough to convince him to get started into review of the case I brought up since couple of past hours. I stamped out of the room as I wasn’t able to handle the affront I felt towards him. I grabbed my jacket on the chair, and stride towards the parking lot.

And, that was the last time I saw Mr. Meyer. I have lived normally as if nothing had happened. I published my new cooking book especially about how to make German dishes using Indian species. Also, both of my daughters have recently graduated from High School, and parted their paths. The incident on February 27, 1995, as I recall, feels like a broken film between a normal life I had.