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Thanatophobia

Thanatophobia is the fear of death. The fear of finally realizing that every single individual and species on this planet dies in one way or another. The fear of having no control over something so natural yet so devastating. The fear of being unable to overcome such thing that it has the possibilities to consume your dreams, your imagination, and if you let it, your entire life.

Sidney knows this all too well.

At fourteen, Sidney was in a horrible plane accident leaving her in a complete body cast. She survived, but that memory relives itself every time she stares at the scars that completely devour her waist down. That day she saw plenty of people screaming in misery, shouting for help. She couldn't do anything but lay on the planes broken wing and stare at these people be engulfed in the flames that this disaster caused. She was lucky to survive, being one of the only three to actually do so.

Six years later, she still is in shock from the incident. She contemplates suicide daily because she cant quite get over what happened. One day, she finally had the guts to walk over to her dads gun, and get a grip on it. She put the gun under her chin, closed her eyes, and started shaking tremendously. She couldn't do it. The though of death consumed her brain at the time and it was just impossible for her to put a bullet through her head. She knew that she survived death once, and it was definitely for a certain reason. She couldn't waste the luck that was given to her. That night she lay down on her bed, turned her bright blue lamp off, and closed her eyes until she drifted off into sleep. But she couldn't. The memory came back. She remembered the flight attendants, the business man that sat across from her, and most importantly a single mother with her two newly born twins. This was the first time in her whole life that she remembered the flight before the crash actually occurred. She opened her eyes and couldn't get over how many people were killed that day and how many peoples lives were affected. The thought of death completely shot into her mind and she couldn't resist thinking about it. The crash, the attempted suicide. Everything. Tears were rushed, her eyes became bloodshot, and her temperature was dangerously rising. Her breath was short, and she realized that she was going in a state of shock that could take her life. All over this unforgettable memory and the thought of death in general. She tried running to her parents room, but she fell before she even reached the dark and narrow hallway. She tried yelling for help, but her heart was starting to stop pumping. This was the first time in her entire life since the crash where she fully remembered how it felt to completely be helpless. How it felt to be so close to death. How it felt to do nothing but lay on the ground and stare into what is in front of you. Except this time, Sidney knew that it was her turn. Death was ravishing her soul.

She put her head down on the wooden floor, stared at the ceiling vent to the top right of her, and just let the most natural thing of this world happen; death.

Her heart finally stopped working.
The anxiety, the stress, and the memory took over.





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