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Leaving

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The sound of the door as it closed was the final pump to my breaking heart. I could feel the pieces of my heart shatter in pieces that could never be fixed. What had I said to make her leave? I knew what I had said. What I had done. I should have held my tongue should have been more careful. The words I spoke to her like knives aimed straight for her heart. How could I have hurt the one person who made me feel alive?

The words I said still echoing in my head, “at least now I won’t have to hear you whine”; a moment of anger forever changing my life. I stared at the door hoping for her to walk back in, knowing she wouldn’t. She’d dealt with so much. She deserved better. I am selfish though. I want her back. I want all of her again. I want to feel her body next to me, the feel of her breath, as I run my fingers down the curvature of her body, like an angel. How I could have hurt such an innocent being is still unknown.

I feel my body grow cold as the beating of my heart ceases to exist. No longer is this body alive. It’s dead without her presence. Without her cool blue eyes, beautifully tan skin, long silky blonde hair, and body of a goddess. I am nothing. “I’m sorry,” I mutter to this now empty house.

No one can hear me no one can hear my cries. Forgiveness is what I long for. Her forgiveness. I want to smell her sweet smell as the wind blows through her hair. Her smell sending my senses wild, shock to my brain, how I already miss it. I want to take her to bed letting the sheets engulf us as our love is expressed to one another. The passion that flows through our veins, hot like a fire, is now dead and cold. If I’d only held my tongue. Watched what I said. If she only knew that I didn’t mean it. It was a moment of anger my love. Can you please forgive me?

I reach for the handle; it’s cold, dead. I turn open the door it slowly creaking open. I see my dear love she’s reached the end of my driveway. I scream her name. She turns to me. Her blue eyes full of tears staring me down daring me to say another harsh word. “I’m sorry.” I scream. “I didn’t mean it I swear.” She stops her hands are by her side. How I want to grab her hands and pull her close, but I don’t dare for fear of her pulling away. “I will do anything for you. Please forgive me!” I yell as she parts her sweet lips. What will she say? Will she take me back?

After all I’ve done it’s only her that can put my heart back together. It’s true when they say ‘You don’t know what you have until it’s gone’ Never again will I say such harsh things to this woman that I love. For the words were not true. The only true words are words of our future, of our love and passion. “I love you my dear!” I scream as she parts her lips with the verdict or my crime.





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