Johns Birthdays

February 28, 2012
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It was John’s tenth birthday. He woke up with no memory, except his name and a little English. He woke up on the train tracks with a bloody nose and heard a scuffling noise in the bush next to him. When he looked in the bush, he found a leprechaun, and it punched him in the face and knocked him out.


It was John’s eleventh birthday. He woke up floating down the stream on a log with a dent in his head and a bloody nose. When he slowly drifted to shore all that he could remember was English. There was a peaceful looking light purple unicorn on shore, but John had forgotten that purple unicorns had become evil. When he went up to pet it, it knocked him out with its horn.

It was John’s twelfth birthday. He woke up skiing down a powdery black diamond with a bloody nose, a dent in his head, and a huge unicorn horn that he didn’t want to pull out in his side. He didn’t remember anything and he especially didn’t remember how to ski. Immediately he flew off a mogul and was airborne. He felt like he was flying and boom he hit a tree and got knocked out.


It was John’s last birthday. He woke up in an ape cage with a dent in his head a bloody nose a horn in his side and a bunch of twigs in his hair and a squirrel on his shoulder. All the apes then swung from the trees out of nowhere and surrounded him. Then one ape in particular came out. He was the fattest ape, or maybe the most buff John couldn’t really tell. Then the ape said “John, I am your father”. John was scared not remembering that monkeys could talk so he ran to the exit of their cage and slipped on a banana peel. His head couldn’t take any more trauma and that was the end of John.





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