Blame Me Chapter 1

February 21, 2012
Macy poured some of the multi-colored chews into her hand. She examined them, preparing her taste buds for her favorite fruit juice- flavored candy. Dipping her head back, she poured the contents of her hand into her mouth. She always tried to ignore the similar feeling it compared to. She shook her head of the multicolored pills in her hand, instead of the delicious Mike and Ike’s. Shdidn't’t feel that way, at least, not now.

She had considered taking her own life, more than once. The thing is, she’d already taken two lives that didn’t belong to her. She had to hold on to something, and it wasn’t the company of her brothers anymore. All she had was herself, and her dreams.

She would pursue her goal of becoming a well known director in the film industry of all departments, (Animation, Drama, Comedy, and almost anything else). She even wanted to do a documentary of someone she admired. She wasn’t sure of exactly who that would be, yet.

Frowning at the loss of population in the green box, Macy started the car she was sitting in, pulled the gear shift to “D”, and nudged the accelerator. She waited to turn, checking both ways, waiting for a small Toyata truck to drive by. She let her thoughts judge the man sitting in the driver’s seat. Even after he had passed, Macy was crowded by her imagination as she pulled into the driving lane towards home.

She had thoughts that maybe he was on his way home, too. He might be going home to an empty house, or to a full one. She decided she was in the mood for him to have an empty one. Mostly out of jealousy, shdidn't’t want him to have what she threw away last year.

She saw him pouring some whisky into a small glass on ice, taking a gulp, then settling into a comfortable, worn recliner to watch the same movie he did the night before about losing loved ones, a sad story.

Macy would have a great personal attachment to any Sad Movie she decided to direct in her future. She had nothing but despair ahead of her until she found some success for a worthless, sinning soul like her own.

The man would slowly drift to sleep in that recliner, waking up hours later and stumbling off to his bed, blacking out as the alarm clock would brutally awaken him another few hours to come.

She flicked on her turning signal, drifting into the left-turn-lane, not having to wait for any cars to turn this time. She cruised down her road, not turning to look at her surroundings. Shdidn't’t have much to see, having lived there her entire life, having road down this block a million times in her lifetime.

Shdidn't’t want to remember those times, the times her brother helped her to be rid of those training wheels, or when he carried her home on his handlebars when she busted her knee. He was the only boy that could make a ride like that as fun as it was. She had always wanted to try riding on his handlebars, seeing it done in movies, but he’d never let her until then when it was serving as a gurney of sorts for the injured.

She pulled into her driveway, unsure of what there would contain inside the doors of her home. Her mother could hardly speak, even now. It’d been a year to the day of their death. The house would never be the same, and they both knew it. Not only had they lost two brothers, sons, but also a husband and father. He walked out when hdidn't’t have his golden boys to take care of. He left the pieces to be picked up and fit together by Macy and her mother, who barely talked on a good day before their favorite people met their demise.

Macy’s Mother, Carol, had no idea that Macy was at fault, of course.

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