Switch of Dreamy Horror

February 16, 2012
By Lafar SILVER, Paoli, Pennsylvania
Lafar SILVER, Paoli, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's okay to get an F. But in the greater scheme of things, nobody cares, especially when you get an ‘F’ in something that’s not reflected in the work you want to do.

You are bored. You are fiddling around with your pen, when you hear a “thonk” on the window of your house. When you look outside, the moon is a pale sickly color, warning you of danger. Nevertheless, you keep on looking. You see your mom and dad wandering out of the house. Across the street, you spot a person, wearing a humongous coat, and walking with a limp. Suddenly, the person walks toward your parents holding something out. You gasp in horror as you realize that the something is a gun. The stranger pulls the trigger. BAM! You see your mother clutching her stomach falling to the ground. Your dad rushes to the man throwing a right haymaker. The stranger sidesteps your dad, and whips out a knife. Your dad falls to the ground, blood spilling out of his neck. You hand trembles as it reaches the phone. You glance outside, the stranger is gone. You hear the door creaking open, accompanied by the dreadful sound of “Beep! You have no battery left! Please recharge your phone as soon as possible! Goodbye!” You throw the phone at the door, and hear the stranger creep up the steps. Each step announcing your death, craving your death waiting until the stranger finishes you. You slide under the bed, trying to prepare yourself for your death. The stranger heads towards your mom and dad’s room, ignoring you. Maybe he hasn’t discovered you; maybe he is just saving you for last, to twist your fingers, slowly killing you off, for some revenge, some fault of your now deceased parents. You hear him stealing you mother’s fifty year old pearl necklace. He shuffles over to your room. You dive under the bed, making no sound at all. The stranger throws something on the ground, and leaves. You creep out from under the bed, and see that the object is a bomb, made up of many wires and liquids all ticking away counting your death. Topping it all off, a display shows ten seconds of time. The bomb is too heavy to move, it seems as if it was heavy for that purpose. You throw yourself on top of it, and as the timer reaches zero seconds, your eyes spot an off switch. You wake up, realizing that was a dream. You look around your room, to reassure yourself that you are in real life. You look on the ground; you let out a breath, realizing that there is no bomb. Until you hear a gunshot.

The author's comments:
You never know if it is a dream, or....

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This article has 6 comments.

on Feb. 23 2012 at 8:13 am
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

ohmygosh this was so good lol. i was in a trance throughout reading the entire thing. good job! keep writing :)

firecleansed said...
on Feb. 21 2012 at 3:48 pm
firecleansed, West Jordan, Utah
0 articles 1 photo 60 comments
Great use of first person. My normal style of writing gives me a bais against it but you definately brought me to some new life. I agree with Writer_Jordan more emotion would make it a even more amazing.

on Feb. 21 2012 at 2:07 pm
Writer_Jordan GOLD, Ellicott City, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 183 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

It's very detailed, menacing, kind of frightening. I think you should describe in more detail, though, how the character felt as the events were playing out. I could totally see this published as one of those choose your own adventure books, where you have to choose what to do next in a scenario. Keep writing in your unique style! I like it!

on Feb. 20 2012 at 7:07 pm
onedaymore143 SILVER, Conifer, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
I wanna be the girl he gives his hoddies to, and cuddels up to when its cold, He'll be the one who comes up behind me and wraps his arms around his waist, catchs off gaurd and says you are beautiful.

o my that was a thrilling story it was so good i got the shakes keep t=up the good work :)

Angel96 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 20 2012 at 6:42 pm
Angel96 BRONZE, Tampa, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
that was really good!!;) keep up the good work

on Feb. 20 2012 at 5:56 pm
PeNfReAk10 PLATINUM, Chino Hills, California
22 articles 3 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life hands you lemons, take the seeds and plant them.

holy frick this is good.


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