Mothers Do Care

January 1, 2012
By MsKPirate BRONZE, Meeker, Oklahoma
MsKPirate BRONZE, Meeker, Oklahoma
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Talk low, talk slow and don't say to much. -John Wayne


"It was a little past midnight and I was starting to get worried. Why has Haley not come home? I started calling her friends and some church members, no one has seen her. After eight hours had past, I called the police.





They said that they would start up a mass search for Haley. So, that's what they did, searching every house and barn. It was such a small town, where could she had gone? Then I saw her car in a ditch, just out of town. The '98 Mazda was still running, so I ran over there, hoping that she would be in it, but she wasn't. Her purse was there, all the contents still inside.



Then I received a call, it was a guy, he told me that he had Haley and I need get to three grand to him by Sunday and then he hung up. I didn't who this guy was or where he was, so how was I suppose to get the money to him? He did leave a clue, the number he called from. I told the police the number so they could track it.
Two hours later I received another call, the police, the number was registered to David Ably, my ex-husband! The divorce papers had just finalized and I had full custody over Haley! The number had been tracked to a barn thirty miles up the road from Shilly. Finally, I would get my daughter back!
The police immediately made a group to go up and get her. They told me to stay, so I did. I waited hours before I got a call, they got Haley! She was in critical condition, but she was alive! David try to shoot her after he gave her up, he hit her in right shoulder, then killed himself. Sad, really, but I got my daughter back.



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This article has 1 comment.


on Jan. 16 2012 at 3:20 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 426 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

This is ok, but I think it needs some work. I think it could definitely be longer, because honestly, not a lot happens and it's all over so fast! Sorry, but there's not really anything different about this piece, nothing that makes it special. What's the point? It feels like you're writing just to write. Sorry if I seem harsh. I just want to be helpful! Keep writing!!!


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