Tragedy | Teen Ink

Tragedy

December 20, 2011
By aboule1 BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
aboule1 BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

I decided to take my two brothers Peter and Johnny to go ice skating at a pond in the back of my house because my mom wanted us out of the house. My mom was decorating and cleaning the house for Christmas. But, I think she just said that so she could wrap presents for us. Me and my brothers decided we were going to play broom hockey. We got our ice skates and broom sticks and started walking down to the local pond.

When we got to the pond we all sat on the bench next to the pond and started to put our ice skates on. It felt good spending time with my two younger brothers because I never have time to bond with them because of school and ice skating after school. We all raced out to the pond and started to play broom hockey.

We got tired of playing hockey so we just started to skate around and I decided to practice for my competition this weekend. I saw my youngest brother Johnny skate off by himself, but I can see him in the distance so, I am not worried. I skated over to Peter and started to talk to him about Christmas.


“Did you ask for anything special for Christmas?” I said.


“I want this new video game for x-box but, I don't know if mom will get it for me because it is rated mature.” Peter said.


“I think she will get it for you because I told her that it is not that bad.”


“Really? Thank you so much!” Peter said.


“What is that noise?” I said.


“I don’t know.” Peter said.
I look over to where Johny has skating and I could see him waving him arms and seeing the ice crack. This day had just gone from great to horrible.

I was trying to skate over to him to help him but, as hard as I could, I could not not skate. It was like my skates were stuck in place and I could not move. I tried to scream to Peter to get John. Even as loud as I could Peter could not hear me. I could feel my mouth moving but, I could not hear any sounds coming out.
Just as my feet start to move, I see Johnny slip beneath the ice. I race to him as fast as I can go but, It seems like he is getting further and further away. I finally get to the hole and johnny reaches out his hand. I take his hand but, It slips free.

“Wake up! Wake up!” my mom yelled as she shakes me.

“Are you okay?” my mom questioned.

“What is going on?” I said.

“You were having a bad dream and you were screaming in your sleep.”

“Oh thank god! It was horrible mom! It was Johnny! he...he...he..” I stuttered.

“It is okay. You’re okay. But, your brother Johnny he is not okay.” my mom said.

“What are you talking about mom?” I said.

“Just come downstairs I will tell you everything. Everyone is already down there.”
I was so scared. I didn't know what was happening. What was wrong with my little Johnny.

“Sit down, please.” my mom said.
I sat down. It looked liked everyone knew already. Why was I the last person to know? I saw Johnny curled up on my mom’s lap. It looked like she was about to cry.


“We had to go to the hospital last night.” my mom said.


“Why?” I said.


“Last night Johnny was having intense pain in his head.”


“What did they say? He is going to be okay right?” I said.
My mom said nothing.


“Right?!” I screamed.
My mom started to cry. I did not mean to yell but, she was not answering me.


“Johnny has a..a...a..” my mom said.


“A what?” I asked.


“A brain tumor. Johnny has cancer.” my mom said.
My jaw dropped. I could not even speak. I did not know what to say next.


“He is going to be okay though. Aunt Kim survived her breast cancer.”


“This tumor is on his brain.” my mom said.


“They did not catch it in time” my mom said.


The author's comments:
This was a creative writing fiction piece that I made about a girl that had a dream that ended in a tragedy in her dream and in reality.

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This article has 6 comments.


aboule1 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 5 2012 at 5:52 am
aboule1 BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I am going to post some poetry soon! check that out if you want :)

on Jan. 4 2012 at 4:48 pm
TouchOfARose SILVER, Winter Garden, Florida
7 articles 1 photo 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We all have ability. The difference is how we use it." -Stevie Wonder

No problem at all! (: Glad to help in any way possible.

aboule1 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 3 2012 at 9:04 am
aboule1 BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
thank you for reading my first piece and thank you for the feedback

aboule1 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 3 2012 at 9:03 am
aboule1 BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
thank you very much

LawltheSky said...
on Jan. 3 2012 at 9:01 am
Awesome :] I really like x3 keep writing

on Dec. 28 2011 at 11:57 am
TouchOfARose SILVER, Winter Garden, Florida
7 articles 1 photo 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We all have ability. The difference is how we use it." -Stevie Wonder

It's good overall, and I like the plot, but it needs some work. You have a lot of run on sentences and incomplete thoughts.... It made it hard to read, and it was a little disorganized. Keep writing though!