Your Friendly Uncle J Here | Teen Ink

Your Friendly Uncle J Here

November 18, 2011
By ZIPPE BRONZE, New York, New York
ZIPPE BRONZE, New York, New York
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
my own "smile smile and keep on smiling"


I am the favorite of the children and the archenemy of Batman. Can you guess who I am if you guess the Joker your right. Wanna know your prize. Ok I will tell you. I will creep threw your window and kill you execution style but don’t be afraid I done worse so cover your head with your blankets cowards because when I am in your town you better know I leave no man standing. I like to kill the children first draws excitement to the game. But that’s not why you picked up this thin piece of paper to read.
Facts about me

I’ve been to asylums multiple of times.

I am a psychopath and I can admit it sadly for you I am the most intelligent one.

I fell into toxic and yes that is why I look like a clown but you better not think that or you be the first to die and I am serious!

I am one of the greatest villains on multiple charts.

I am Batman # 1 archenemy and if you want to challenge that then I laugh at you then I’ll spit in your face and lastly clean my windows with your blood ha ha.

I am homicidal seriously.

Nobody escapes when I have plans to kill the except the man in the tights of course it’s Batman.

I always kill brutally.

I like to make most of my victims with family watch as their family’s get killed before their eyes on these occasion I kill the woman first the next is the older children then the man and lastly the younger children.

I’ve been to prison and oddly or not I reallllly enjoy it.

My favorite asylum is Arkham isn’t it funny how i have a favorite asylum you better say yes or well you know what’s going to happen.

My laughing gas can kill millions of people once I get those stupid things to work so you better move.

I shot Batgirl to get back at Batman and like are they dating?

I got this chick Harley Quinn hooked she was suppose to be my psychiatrist but love happened she even changed her career to be a criminal just like me .

Favorite thing I said “if you have to explain a joke there’s no joke”.

I have multiple weapons.

Like an acid squirting flower that will burn your face right off and send it spiraling in to the depths of he**.

A deck of cards that are blades.

Exploding cigar (please don’t smoke) or I’ll be cleaning my teeth with your bones and washing my face in your blood.

I also have joker venom cool huh you already know what happen if you don’t say yes don’t make me explain again okay I will since it excites me I will tell you a different method I will put you on a circle and spin you and while your spinning I’ll blow your head off and then make your family eat it.

Also with joker venom you die laughing I like to kill the children this way.

Wanna know a good thing about me that only good for me I am immune to every toxic and if you ask joker venom I am going to kill you. But to answer your question yes I am immune to that to.

I’ve been killed* (it is just an illusion I’ve been able to perfect so don’t get happy)!

“Don’t try this at home kids” is my catch phrase like it. I love it!

I think I was a standup comedian once but failed so I took up robbing to support my pregnant wife but my wife dies along with my unborn child but I’m not sure (about anything).

Lastly Batman doesn’t kill me because he’s afraid of turning into a killer just like my self.

This has been a nice auto biography one question what did you leanr from this autobiography?

Some people are born to kill
I am one
Bye bye see ya real soon probably tonight I am in Brooklyn ya know and I am in the mood for young children and blood
Batman is coming gotta go



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