Jacob's Rebirth

November 15, 2011
By , Mexico City, Mexico
I turned around, and saw a man enter the church. The man had ragged and torn clothes, his shirt filled with sweat and blood, mixed with alcohol and the feeling of being close to death for too long. Under his tired eyes, wrinkles and dried tears accompanied him as he sat down on the broken bench. He looked up, miserably, and saw the paintings on the ceiling, of angels and happiness, that he had long lost faith in.

10 minutes until Rebirth

I had become this man. As I looked down from the ceiling, I remembered why I had even come here in the first place. Yes, my wife had almost died, and for some reason, my footsteps had carried me here. A place I couldn't’t believe in anymore. The sermon had finally started and I just sat there blankly staring at the man who was going to change my life, although didn't’t know that yet.
‘’Good night, let’s get started with our prayer .’’

All the people around me started singing, I stood up, miming their movements, a strange force was trying to make me throw up the words in the chorus, but I just… I just couldn't’t do it. The music finally stopped, and I sat down, heartbroken for the words I could not express. As soon as the priest started talking, I knew I was doomed, and saved.

5 minutes until Rebirth


‘’Change. We all want it, but do we actually know what it means? Do we really know what our final purpose after death, broken hearts, and lost faith, is? No, of course we don’t, that is why our God is right above us, watching over us and telling us what we have to do. The only thing you have to do is open your hearts… and listen.’’
I was shaking from uncontrolled rage at this point, how could God be telling me what to do? He didn’t exist! He had made my life a hell! He had made that man kill my baby, and almost my wife! I heard screaming, and people around me backing away in fear, and realized it was me, I was doing this, not only screaming and destroying, but I had left God, he had not left me, I had nearly murdered the only person I had left to love, I had ruined the relationships of my past. I was the faithless monster that had ruined my life, and my family.

1 minute until Rebirth


I was next to a hospital bed, a small and painfully thin creature was laying on top of it, twitching slightly , but suddenly the creature started to scream and rip the sheets apart looking for something that wasn’t there, looking for a child that no longer existed, men in lab coats entered from the next room and pushed me away, making me crash down on the cold ground , but even though I heard screams from the creature, screams from the doctors, screams from my own mouth, I felt a sudden and rushed calm, and a voice talking to me, telling me to kneel, and say a prayer. At first I thought the voice was a doctor, but there was no one in sight, so I gathered up a newly found courage and spoke for the first time in weeks.
‘’God, help me, tell my John… tell him that I loved him…. Please tell my baby that I will take care of his mother, tell him that I believe in You, tell him that I love You, please, but do not let my wife die, because if she does… I will have no reason to live.’’

Rebirth


The marble ground was cold, very cold actually, so cold I could actually imagine myself resting on top of a mountain filled with snow, next to my son and wife. I saw different patterns in the marble ground, patterns of love and hate, patterns of redemption and change, and I finally knew what I had to do, I had remembered the promise that I had made to God so many nights ago, and that I had chosen to forget. But now, a bright light was emanating from the ceiling, a brilliant light that came from the angels and saints that I had once lost faith in, and as if to finish my rebirth, said, “You are my son, Jacob, and your family will always be on my mind…. Never forget that I am right there with you, and that I love you.” The light disappeared and instead the priest looked over me and simply smiled and chuckled, because I think he knew what I had just experienced.





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