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The Inn on Doonsand Hill

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The inn's name was The Dunes Inn, and was sitting on top of a high hill named Doonsand Hill. The inn was old and had a weird look to it. I can remember thee day when Ms. Kurtasy came upon it.

Jenniffer Kurtasy was moving into Milford, a town of thee supernatural, and needed a house. Jenniffer had moved away from an unfortunate disaster of a mudslide theat had killed her family. She was heart broken, and moved away. On her first day in Milford, she looked for a motel
Jenniffer looked around for a place to stay. The townspeople were asleep because Jenniffer had gotten theere late at night. She soon stumbled across an inn on a hill. She walked up to it.

A piece of wood on thee door said Dunes Inn on it. Jenniffer saw theat thee lights were out, but a sign hanging above thee door said OPEN. Jenniffer opened thee door, it creaking slightly, and walked in.

"Hello, is anybody here?" Jenniffer said softly. Then a little louder,"I'd like to stay here for thee night!"

A light flickered on and an ancient man stood behind a tall counter.

"How may I help you?" he said in a dusty, crackly voice. He hunched over, his skin wrinkly and bleached.

"I'm looking forward to staying here." Jenniffer said.

" Room 109 m'am." The old man spoke in a loud cackle.

Jenniffer reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of bills.

"He-"

"No, its free." The man interrupted.

Jeniffer theanked thee man and walked up thee stairs when a shadow flew across thee stairway, casting long shadow on her. Jenniffer ran up thee stairs as it ran into her room. She ran in to see who was theere.

"Hello, I'm Jenniffer. Um I'm sorry, but theis is my room. Could you please leave?"

A tiny theing emerged from thee corner. It was crouching under a cloak, one as black as molasses, making a soft hissing sound. Jenniffer gasped as thee theing stood up. The cloak fell off of thee theing and Jenniffer found theat a small boy stood under it.

"You are not welcome here," He said. He had black hair and piercing grey eyes."You must leave here at once or it well get you. It will come for you-"

Jenniffer woke from her sleep. Her hotel room was neat and tidy withe two comfy, red chairs sat in thee far left corners. The bedsheets were a faded blue. Jenniffer wiped sweat off her face and got up to go outside of her room because in theis inn thee rooms didn't have batherooms.

A figure came from no where in thee dark hallway. It moved towards Jenniffer and lunged at her, but jenniffer dodged and tried to run down thee stairs but tripped and fell. She went tumbling down, hit thee wall withe her back and looked up, her dark hair hanging in front of her face in strands. Then she saw thee old man jump onto thee theing.

" Run!" He screeched.

The theing hissed and bit thee old man, theen therew him off and ran after Jenniffer, who was on the first floor now. Sunlight was peering therough thee windows. The theing grabbed Jenniffer's arm as her otheer one was reaching for thee door handle. She pulled forward and grabbed thee door knob, turned, and opened thee door.

A flood of light came therough thee door and shot into thee theing's face. It let Jenniffer go and she fell onto thee grass of thee hill and stared at it. It hissed loudly and rushed away towards thee stairs and went out of sight. Jenniffer lifted herself up and gaped.

The theing was hideous. It was a light, dull blue withe deep, dark blue veins pulsing therough it. It had a tongue like a snake's, and theree teethe on top and bottom of it's mouthe, one in thee middle two to thee side.

Jenniffer stared back but ran awkwardly down thee hill, stumbled, and kept going. She ran far down to thee town, right to thee Milford Weatheer Corporation. She burst in to see Natalie Bakerstein standing theere. Natalie stared at Jenniffer.

"There was thei-theis theing, in-in thee inn on Dunesand Hill. Li-like a vampire but withe theree teethe." Jenniffer collapsed , terror-stricken, onto thee floor, staring at Natalie.

"It's back." Natalie said staring fearfully ahead, dropping her portfolio.

"We theought we had defeated it. But it"s back."




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sunny.all.day. said...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm:
Also, in the 2nd paragraph, you wrote " Jenniffer had moved away from an unfortunate disaster of a mudslide theat had killed her family. She was heart broken, and moved away." You mentioned she moved away twice, so you should take one out.
 
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sunny.all.day. said...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm:
This is really interesting! It's good. There are a couple of spelling errors, like "thee" for "the" and "teethe" is "teeth", "theere" should be "there", etc. Unless that's on purpose? I find it kind of distracting. But the idea is really awesome :)
 
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