Glass

August 13, 2011
By rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?


Shiny glass. A flash of black hair. Long, gnarled claws reaching, reaching. Bloodred eyes looming. An ice cold voice whispering: “Soon…Soon…” The claws, growing ever closer. Snatching now, snatching at black hair, red eyes burning into brown ones, razored teeth gnashing, gnashing at porcelain skin.
PAIN.
TERROR.
DEA-

Madison Hays bolted awake in her bed, her breath escaping in terrified gasps, for the third night in a row. Shakily, she brushed her long, raven hair from her face and trained her blue eyes on the glaring green digits of the digital clock on her bedside table- the only light in the room. 3:14 am. Still feeling uneasy from the nightmare, she hesitantly ran her eyes around the darkened room, an effort which proved futile due to her eyes not having adjusted yet. She blinked a few times to speed up the process and caught her breath. There, between blinks, she had seen… something... about her height in the mirror, standing with its head bent. Pure, cold terror grasped her chest. She froze, afraid to blink or make even the slightest movement. Her heartbeat roared in her ears, blocking out all rational thinking. The figure had disappeared, but for how long? Her incapacitated brain recalled at that moment only the reasoning of a child’s imagination and she felt the desperate urge to burrow into all her blankets and reach safety. Realization of her inability to think clearly gripped her and she flung herself down into her bed, pulling the thickest afghan up and over her trembling figure. It was like this, rigid with fear, sweating from the heat of the blanket and certain of her impending doom that Madison finally faded into the sweet oblivion of slumber.

Her eyes opened for the second time that day to rays of sunlight flooding in from the window over her bed. Sitting up in bed and stretching, she sighed. She recalled faint strains of terror from the night before and marveled at her own imagination. As she pulled herself out of the nest of sheets and blankets on her bed, she noticed the mirror that had so frightened her earlier. She walked up to it and stared at the glassy version of herself. The same old long black hair, boring brown eyes, gawky figure and pale skin stared back. Yea, there was nothing wrong with this mirror, except for maybe the person standing in front of it. She mentally berated herself for her panic earlier and turned away, reaching for her radio dial, ready for the sweet release she could only allow herself while alone. She cranked up the volume on her favorite heavy metal album and closed her eyes. Standing in front of her mirror, she swayed to the beat of the music as the high-pitched vocals screamed into her mind and soul, clawing through her with serrated edges, taking her over and erasing, for the moment, the memories and thoughts she was so desperate to forget.

Eyes closed, however, she couldn’t have known that she was not, in fact, alone. There was another being there, just inside the mirror: her reflection. A being that stayed absolutely still despite Madison’s movements with the music. One that, instead of mimicking, watched with bloodred eyes and an expression on her face that would send chills down the spine of even the most hardened criminal. Her fist clenched and then relaxed, and she slowly extended her arm to the thin barrier between her and Madison. Met with no resistance, it passed through easily and began to grasp for the oblivious girl with gnarled fingernails. Reaching, reaching for that raven hair and porcelain skin. Gnashing her teeth with anticipation. Ever reaching.

“Soon…Soon…”


The author's comments:
I wanted to write a story that preys on people's fear of the unknown. Something that would make you afraid to lose sight of your mirror. I welcome and appreciate any comments, thank you :)

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This article has 48 comments.


on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:27 pm
lucygirl26 GOLD, Greensboro, North Carolina
11 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a bowl of spaghetti. Every once in a while, you get a meatball." - Sharon Creech

Ok, seriously, you got me so scared that now everytime I look in the mirror I cringe. Great work. Really.

on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:24 pm
lucygirl26 GOLD, Greensboro, North Carolina
11 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a bowl of spaghetti. Every once in a while, you get a meatball." - Sharon Creech

ooh, very scary. Chills still running up my spine. I used to always be scared of mirrors after hearing the story of bloody mary. It seriously CREEPED ME OUT. Really, near the end I was like two inches away from the computer, reading quickly like I do in real novels to see what happens next. I love how I was waiting for the creature to be there again, but it still gave me the creeps. 5/5!

on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:08 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Hmmm, true. Thanks for the feedback!

 


on Aug. 20 2011 at 7:48 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 297 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

oh i totally get itt. my thought was just that it might grab the readers attention if strong words like that were more subtle. its less panicky and more creepy. just an idea though :)

on Aug. 20 2011 at 7:27 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thanks :) I just wanted that to emphasize her feelings in the dream.

on Aug. 20 2011 at 7:25 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 297 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

the only critisism I can think of is that (in my personal opinion) the "PAIN. TERROR. DEA-" part would have more emotional power if they weren't capitalized. otherwise, the grammar and spelling were flawless, and the plot was really creepy. i wanna know what happens sooonn :)

on Aug. 20 2011 at 6:23 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thank you! And yea, I do tend to do that haha.

on Aug. 20 2011 at 5:47 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Wow, this was a great thriller!  I really have no criticisms about the spelling or grammar.  The only thing I would change is to make shorter paragraphs so it's easier to read.  Other than that, excellent work!


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