Glass

August 13, 2011
By rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?


Shiny glass. A flash of black hair. Long, gnarled claws reaching, reaching. Bloodred eyes looming. An ice cold voice whispering: “Soon…Soon…” The claws, growing ever closer. Snatching now, snatching at black hair, red eyes burning into brown ones, razored teeth gnashing, gnashing at porcelain skin.
PAIN.
TERROR.
DEA-

Madison Hays bolted awake in her bed, her breath escaping in terrified gasps, for the third night in a row. Shakily, she brushed her long, raven hair from her face and trained her blue eyes on the glaring green digits of the digital clock on her bedside table- the only light in the room. 3:14 am. Still feeling uneasy from the nightmare, she hesitantly ran her eyes around the darkened room, an effort which proved futile due to her eyes not having adjusted yet. She blinked a few times to speed up the process and caught her breath. There, between blinks, she had seen… something... about her height in the mirror, standing with its head bent. Pure, cold terror grasped her chest. She froze, afraid to blink or make even the slightest movement. Her heartbeat roared in her ears, blocking out all rational thinking. The figure had disappeared, but for how long? Her incapacitated brain recalled at that moment only the reasoning of a child’s imagination and she felt the desperate urge to burrow into all her blankets and reach safety. Realization of her inability to think clearly gripped her and she flung herself down into her bed, pulling the thickest afghan up and over her trembling figure. It was like this, rigid with fear, sweating from the heat of the blanket and certain of her impending doom that Madison finally faded into the sweet oblivion of slumber.

Her eyes opened for the second time that day to rays of sunlight flooding in from the window over her bed. Sitting up in bed and stretching, she sighed. She recalled faint strains of terror from the night before and marveled at her own imagination. As she pulled herself out of the nest of sheets and blankets on her bed, she noticed the mirror that had so frightened her earlier. She walked up to it and stared at the glassy version of herself. The same old long black hair, boring brown eyes, gawky figure and pale skin stared back. Yea, there was nothing wrong with this mirror, except for maybe the person standing in front of it. She mentally berated herself for her panic earlier and turned away, reaching for her radio dial, ready for the sweet release she could only allow herself while alone. She cranked up the volume on her favorite heavy metal album and closed her eyes. Standing in front of her mirror, she swayed to the beat of the music as the high-pitched vocals screamed into her mind and soul, clawing through her with serrated edges, taking her over and erasing, for the moment, the memories and thoughts she was so desperate to forget.

Eyes closed, however, she couldn’t have known that she was not, in fact, alone. There was another being there, just inside the mirror: her reflection. A being that stayed absolutely still despite Madison’s movements with the music. One that, instead of mimicking, watched with bloodred eyes and an expression on her face that would send chills down the spine of even the most hardened criminal. Her fist clenched and then relaxed, and she slowly extended her arm to the thin barrier between her and Madison. Met with no resistance, it passed through easily and began to grasp for the oblivious girl with gnarled fingernails. Reaching, reaching for that raven hair and porcelain skin. Gnashing her teeth with anticipation. Ever reaching.

“Soon…Soon…”


The author's comments:
I wanted to write a story that preys on people's fear of the unknown. Something that would make you afraid to lose sight of your mirror. I welcome and appreciate any comments, thank you :)

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This article has 48 comments.


on Aug. 22 2011 at 4:13 pm
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

WOW this is great! I may not have a mirror by my bed but I will always be on guard. . . in other words it was awesome! It is very simlar to my story that I'm writng today. The girl in the mirror. :)(:

on Aug. 22 2011 at 3:40 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thank you so much!

on Aug. 22 2011 at 3:38 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thank you! This is exactly what I was going for :D

Mystiecub said...
on Aug. 22 2011 at 12:13 pm

O_O

Uh....holy friggin c.rap?....

the imagery in here is half of what makes it so creepy O.o great job


on Aug. 22 2011 at 7:19 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

That was absolutely terrifying. Oh, if only I had been reading this in the light of day! I love this piece, though. You were definitely able to hook your reader into the story. I will be wary of that mirror next to me bed from now on.. :) But well done!!! 

on Aug. 21 2011 at 9:31 pm
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments
So I'm completely afraid of mirrors as it is, and this didn't help.  I like the idea that her own reflection could somehow turn against her, even though you don't explain why (don't! I like it that way!).  My only critical thought is that certain descriptions are kind of over-used, e.g. "raven hair".  The story is wonderfully creepy, and a little revamping of some of the descriptions in it, so they are just as original as the story, could add the icing on the cake.

on Aug. 21 2011 at 9:04 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

O_O

 

Okay. There...is a mirror...on the wall...behind me. Thanks to you, no WAY am I ever looking in that thing. Again.

 

In other words, this is fantastic. :D One little quibble, though: after Madison first wakes up, you say she has blue eyes, but in the mirror her eyes are brown. Other than that, it's good! :)


on Aug. 21 2011 at 9:19 am
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

That is very true!

on Aug. 21 2011 at 7:19 am
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

I actually enjoy it more than short story writing because you have the same characters and don't have to over decribe thier past all at once for the story to make sense and you can also really develop them and its easy to become attached:)

on Aug. 20 2011 at 11:13 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thanks :D Shaky how? If you don't mind. I want to know what I should correct in the future. I thought the stunted sentences were good for a nightmare.

on Aug. 20 2011 at 11:04 pm
Danealle SILVER, Wheeling, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anything is possible with a smile and goal in mind.

okay so I am now too terrified to sleep in my room.... 

The start of the story is a little shaky, but I like how the story went in a circle and ended how it started. Great job!


on Aug. 20 2011 at 10:21 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

I take that as a compliment :D

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 10:19 pm
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
I have a mirror right next to my bed....I'm going to make a mental note to move it before I go to sleep tonight :b

on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:30 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Haha, well color me flattered :D

Megan.J.B said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:26 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

Your plot is much more intriguing believe me, the only reason I was able to sit through that movie was because I enjoy Keifer Sutherland :)

on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:25 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thanks :) Just what I was going for.. and I didn't even think about parallelling that movie! 

Megan.J.B said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:20 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

Very creepy idea; similar I suppose to the movie Mirrors, but I find yours more terrifying because it was her own reflection and she felt so safe, because it was her. *shakes with chills* Well done.

on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:11 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Thank you, I have noticed that I tend to do that, however I fluctuate based on my mood. Good thing I am not looking into writing a book yet. 

on Aug. 20 2011 at 9:08 pm
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

I have a mirror right behind my door...hmmm, might keep the door open over it tonight....

Alright, well, enough with futile attempts at humor. It was very good, description wise and also with action. There was not too much where it gets choppy and hard to read, but you tend to do the same thing as I; have very long sentences that seem to go on for a bit with descriptions. In a short piece like this it is fine, but if you ever into book-length writing, longer descriptions will give the reader a headache and will cause them to loose focus. Other than that, it was very intriguing and I enjoyed it.


on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:32 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

This is exactly why I write horror! Thank you for your comment, and your reaction :) I'll be putting some new ones up soon, you should check them out too


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