The Good Doctor

July 28, 2011
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The police sirens wailed behind us, but my captor was not about to slow down. My abhorrent abductor, Dr. Joseph Blaine; was our family’s doctor for the past 20 years. It was close to midnight and pitch black outside. It seemed even the moon was too terrified to be out. I was sitting with my hands bound by ropes and my mouth gagged with one of his Hermes, monogrammed scarves.

It was raining, which made the already precipitous roads even more dangerous. As we drove farther into the chilling forest the police sirens become quieter. He drove us far into the woods. I walked these woods many times as a child. I knew every turn and could name every sound. This time was different. The moon was hidden behind dark clouds, the forest was silent, even the wind still.

The car started to slow down, he stopped in front of a cabin hidden on the south side of the woods. Dr. Blaine pulled me out of the back seat and dragged me by my hair into the cabin. He threw me down onto the cold wood floor, and then went into one of the bedrooms. I was shaking with fear, my stomach churned, I was never one for prayer, but even I found myself pleading with god.

He stayed inside the room for what seemed like hours. When the good doctor remerged he was drunk and reeked of whisky. He ran up to me and hit me! He beat me till I was more debilitated than a starving child. Once he had his fill the doctor went to bed. I just laid there on the floor. Too tired and scared to move.

The cabin seemed to get darker with each passing moment. Four hours later Dr. Blaine reemerged; he looked at me with those soulless black eyes of his. He looked hungry for flesh at that moment my heart stopped; the kind man I knew 20 years ago was no longer there…

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This article has 17 comments. Post your own now!

Blue4 said...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Very interesting and fast paced-piece. I wish that you had included some dialouge, expanded, let the reader know the reason behind this. Otherwise, great job!

Could you please read some of my work, rate, and tell me what you think?

Danealle replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Thanks! And yeah I Will
rage_against_the_machine said...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 9:15 pm
Interesting concept.. I feel like some of the words and similes you used felt not quite right in the text. I wish you had been more descriptive, though! I was only on the precipice of fear in this, I should have been falling into the chasm. Just some thoughts :)
Danealle replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I wanted to get graphic, but was a little afraid of the response I might get! :)
rage_against_the_machine replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 7:27 pm
That's why I try not to think about response- just write with your instincts and what you are happy with. It will probably be better for it.
Danealle replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 7:41 pm
good point! Thanks!
Megan.J.B said...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 1:33 pm
This was rather good :) The only thing I was too fond of was some forced vocabulary, where you put more advanced words into a sentence where a more common and therefore smoother word would have been appropriate. That being said, I did enjoy your descriptions and plot.
Danealle replied...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm
This was originally a class assignment and I had to use those words
Megan.J.B replied...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Ah, I see. I mean good for you for being able to appropraitely use an extensive vocabulary though.
Harebelle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Oh, I want to know more! I love the details you included, like the Hermes scarves. This was so intense to read!
Danealle replied...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!
Thief said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Achievement you made:

You made my heart double its beat.

I now have goose bumps.

And lastly…I’m terrified of my Doc. now.

In all seriousness though this was well written and I had to read it to the end.

Good job! :D

Danealle replied...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Aww thank you!!! 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 11:32 pm
serkgthselkrtjgdf i want to hear more of thiiss! you should definitely continue it. there was a spot where you changed tenses- you wrote become instead of became- but i think it was probably just a typo. and i think its proper to capitalize God but im not sure if thats like just a bible thing or an always thing lol. overall, a really good job. i hope this isnt the end of this storyy! :)
Danealle replied...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I promise I will continue this!
eMiLyP said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 8:31 am
This is really good! And scary, too. : ) It was really interesting and I found myself leaning towards my computer screen, anticipating what happens next.
Danealle replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 8:34 am
Haha that was my goal! Thanks and tell your friends to read this! :)
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