Never Alone

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When I was younger, my mother died. For years after her death, my family lied about her being gone. I was too little to really know what had happened. When I found out the truth that my mother committed suicide because of her schizophrenia, I completely lost my mind. Then people started appearing to me in my sleep. Maybe it was to fill the void my mother had torn out of my life when she died. When it got bad, I went to the hospital. The doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia. He prescribed a medication I could take to help me cope with my condition. I normally get to sleep, but my schizophrenia wakes me up around 2:00 am every night. I was seeing people in my room, but they weren't actual people. When I saw these things they were usually the size of a human and slightly transparent. They were probably spirits or just my medication was failing. I honestly didn't know.


The worst incidents were the ones that started after I was dreaming about my mother. I was dreaming that she was hanging her self. Before my mother stepped off the chair to let the noose carry her, I woke up. I woke up to see a figure dangling from the ceiling in front of my bedroom. As a car pass by my window the headlights flashed by and I could see my mothers face in the figure with a rope around her neck. I screamed so loud when I saw her that I woke up the neighbors and they called the police. When the police arrived I went out in my pj’s and bear foot to explain what had happened. I bet they thought I was crazy. couldnt’t go back to bed after this happened. I’d usually sit in the bathroom because the white tiles made the room bright, I felt safer in there. Falling asleep in the bathroom was always difficult because of the ice cold tiles against my skin.


I know that my location has nothing to do with it. I have seen them at some of my friend's houses, in different states, and even different countries. Recently when I visited New York for Christmas, I shared a bed with my cousin Jasmine. I had a hard time staying asleep as Jasmine was tossing and turning a lot. I got up to see if I could find another place too sleep. Before I even got out of the room , I saw a man in the far side of the room away from the beds. He had a large hat and was leaning against the wall while staring out the window. He seemed to be waiting for someone. I froze for a good minute. I was just afraid and couldn't decide what to do. Then something in me snapped making me realize that I had to do something about these hallucinations. He was sobbing, that made it easier to confront him.

“What do you want?” I asked

“Nothing you can help me with,” he replied in a peevish way

“Okay, then can you go away if you don't need anything?”


When I spoke those words his irritate demeanor, flipped to that of a small tearful child.

“I have no where to go away to” he said loudly with a voice that was broken by gasping and whimpering. His crying was starting to get heartbreaking.


“What's wrong?” I asked. He told me that his mother had died and it was his only family. I tried comforting him, hoping he'd go away. I could understand what he was going through since my own mother had died too. We continued to talk and as I made him feel better I felt better about my own mother passing away. My cousin woke up and asked me who I was talking to. I answered, “The man right in front of me. My cousin sat up in bed, holding her blanket over herself, as if it was shielding her. She looked around when she didn't see anything she asked me.

“Where?”

“In front of me” I answered angrily since I had said it already.

“There is no one there”


I looked around in all directions for the man, he was gone. I was talking so long with him I forgot it was one of those hallucinations, where no one else can see them but me. I was planning on talking to my doctor about needing a stronger medication but, I want to wait and see if I meet any more interesting people living inside my head.





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JustEmily said...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Interesting concept. You need to work on your conventions though (spelling, grammar, sentence structure, capitalization, ect.)
 
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