gothic

June 7, 2011
By rayreilly BRONZE, Bayport, New York
rayreilly BRONZE, Bayport, New York
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
lettuce


Two kids and their girlfriends are sitting around a campfire and they want to get scared. They all know the story of the old house around the corner but one of the boys tells it anyways.
Roomers say that a man used to live in the tremendous abandoned house by the park. His name was Mr.Damion lived there with his wife and daughter until he went insane. They say he was a normal man at first. He was a hard worker, went to church, and always spent time with his daughter sally. Over time he started drinking a lot and yelling at his wife and daughter. He wouldn’t leave the house. Mr.Damion would lock himself in the basement with cement walls and floor. No ones sure of what he did down there but he spent most his time there. He started hearing voices in his head. First he just ignored them, he just thought he was hearing things. Then it got progressively worse. The voices became satanic and telling him to do terrible things. “Kill the girl”. “She’s evil you must kill her”. “Bury her alive”. These voices drove him to insanity. Mr.damion couldn’t take it anymore so he grabbed sally and his wife and throw them down the stairs to the basement. When they reached the bottom they couldn’t get up they were hopeless. He ran down stairs and broke both of there legs with gardening tools so they couldn’t escape. There in the basement he had dug two holes for their bodies. He pushed the mangled bodies of his wife and child into the holes and started shoveling dirt on to them. After they were buried alive he walked up the stairs of the basement slowly and was never to be seen again.

The author's comments:
this article is very gothic in detail.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Jul. 5 2011 at 1:07 pm
JustEmily PLATINUM, Cicero, Indiana
22 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
That's HAWT!

Yes work on your spelling and sentence structure for sure. And your capitalization. And you might want to focus more on developing your ideas rather than going for a quick gore filled scare. This could turn into a good story. I would advise a lot of editing but it could become somthing really cool. Keep at it.

on Jun. 30 2011 at 5:23 pm
MidnightWriter SILVER, Ontario, Other
6 articles 0 photos 225 comments

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Writers are a less dangerous version of the career criminal. Everywhere they go, they see the potential for the perfect crime. The difference is that writers have better self control.

You need to work on spelling and the structure of your sentences in some places. Keep writing.


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