Two Down

June 8, 2011
By , Springfield, PA
I'm Olivia Hansworth and I am on the schools varsity volleyball team. I could not believe the news when I was told that I was accepted onto the team my junior year. The only downfall was the uniforms, they were short and a sleeveless jersey and my legs were so huge, I was so huge. I would just be bulging out of the fabric and it was disgusting. In general I am fat I mean, I weigh one hundred and fifteen pounds can you believe that. Disgusting. My goal weight is an even one hundred and I'm really working hard to reach that goal. Volleyball actually really helps because of all the exercising we do and running around chasing the ball. It still isn't enough though, I'm only fifteen pounds away from my goal weight and volleyball just isn't enough anymore so I decided to cut off from all the eating I do during the day. Because as you know food is the enemy, lunch at school is just horrible all those people shoveling burgers and fries into their mouths, then stuffing Twinkies and krispy kremes as well. Do these people not realize what they're doing to their bodies? Every time I'm forced to eat lunch I simply go to the bathroom and, what's the word, regurgitate it back up. There's really no need for all that food to be inside of you. A simple salad, or some carrot sticks will do exactly what a cheese steak will do.

Forget about my weight and workouts they're not important what's important is that the team is having a get together in the school gym to bond together as a team before our big match. I'm so excited about this, we're friends in school and outside of class as well but during the past month we haven't all had the opportunity to hang out all together as a group and team. So here I am sitting in the gym floor with my bottle of water which is untouched and I'm waiting for the others to arrive. I got here early cause I skipped dinner at my house, no big deal though I told my mom I'd just get something from the vending machines or from the convenience store. I can't believe she fell for that. Anyway, here comes some of the team now, I could see a few of them I think Anna was here and I could barely make out Isabelle and Rebecca. I quickly put my water bottle in my bag, I didn't want the team thinking I was eating or drinking like a slob.

“Hey Anna! Hey Isabella! What's up Rebecca!” I said cheerfully from my spot on the floor putting my legs behind me so the other girls wouldn't stare at my huge body.
“Hey Olivia! Wow you look really skinny have you lost more weight?” Rebecca asked me. I was so happy that she said that I even put my legs in front of me because of the extra confidence.
“Thanks Rebecca! That's so nice, I think I might have lost a few pounds, only a few more to go!” I encouragingly told both Rebecca and myself. Isabella looked over at me with concern in her eyes, she thinks she's so smart, thinks she knows me, she doesn't know me, she doesn't know anything about me. I turned away from Isabella and focused back on what Rebecca had started saying about the upcoming competition. I rolled my eyes as I felt the stare of Rebecca on my back, she's always prying into other peoples business, why couldn't she just be happy for me.

“Hey Olivia, do you mind if I talk to you for a second...in private” Isabella quietly told me obviously not trying to make a scene. I huffed in annoyance but stood up regardless, better just get it over with and be done with it. I followed her into the locker rooms and sat down on one of benches in between the lockers, it smelt like sweat and failure from the last loss we had as a team. Isabella stared at me for a few seconds as I waited for her to start the conversation or what I assumed would be a lecture. Isabella opened her mouth and I was all ready staring at her openly with irritation.
“What do you want Isabella?” I interrupted her before she could speak “If this is another one of those lectures about my fake eating disorder I really don't want to hear it right now.”
“But it's not healthy for you Olivia. Can't you see! You look like a skeleton and I'm worried that you could end up in the hospital, I've read about eating disorders like yours and it never ends well” Isabella seemed exasperated. She should be exasperated she's told me enough times about how I'm not eating right or I have a problem.
“I told you I don't have an eating disorder, I'm fine, what's wrong with wanting to lose a little weight!?” I screamed at her getting upset. I hate when she brings this up, it's so embarrassing and no one else on the team brings it up. They're all happy for me, why can't Isabella be happy for me. Unless she's jealous, oh my god that's it she's jealous of me! Oh so this is what it was all about. I breathed deeply and then “Listen Isabella just because you're jealous of me and my body doesn't mean you can go around accusing me of having an eating disorder! Okay!” With that as my final word in the argument I stormed out of the locker room and back to the group.

I sat down back in my place and pulled out my water bottle chugging it furiously, I was so angry at that b**** for trying to but into my life and then saying I had an eating disorder! How dare she, I wasn't one of those sad pathetic girls who were overweight and ate their feelings away! I was stronger than that, I didn't need food to make me happy. I watched as Isabella walked out of the locker room door, she looked distraught and served her right, she should be. I turned away from her and focused on anything else which just so happened to be little Jane Reynolds. I always liked Jane, she was quiet and didn't really speak much so it gave me chances to talk. Jane didn't complain about my weight she just smiled when I told her I'd lost another pound. I smiled at Jane and started talking to her about the massive amount of homework my history teacher gave me this weekend. I had two essays and a power point to finish by Monday, Jane simply smiled and nodded her head in understanding.
“Alright girls now that everyone is here we can officially begin the girls varsity volleyball team lock-in!” Rebecca yelled cheerfully as she stood and clapped. We all clapped along with her getting into the spirit and excitement that Rebecca always seemed to exude.

Somehow we got on the subject of the creepy janitor that roams that school. I one hundred percent believe he is the creepiest creeper I've ever seen. He's also kind of fat and that is totally gross to me I mean if he's gonna be seen by people all day why not work on your outer appearance for crying out loud. I wouldn't want to go waddle around the school popping out of my clothes and not in a good way. If I remember correctly there was one time when I did talk to the janitor, well not really talk more like totally bash on him for his utter lack of appeal and the fact that he could lose a few pounds. I don't know why I even wasted my time on him with my advice, I was really only just trying to help him become a better person, he obviously didn't feel the same way. Last time I saw him was in the hallways of school last week when he was mopping up puke in the girls room, I knew who puked but I definitely wasn't going to tell then I'd just be ratting myself out. I remembered when I walked by him he stopped mopping and stared at me as I went down the hallway, it was like he knew I did it and I felt a shiver run up my back just from the memory.

Jane stood up and said she had to go to the bathroom but no one payed her any mind. Jane may be part of the team but she's very...well not forgettable but more easily missed. I didn't even look twice as she left only after Rebecca yelled out to her that the bathrooms were broken did I really take notice about the interruption. I went back to my discussion with Nikki about her training schedule and how she's coming along with her program. Nikki wasn't very skinny but she made up for it because she was fit athletically, she didn't have any fat just muscle and for that I could stand to be around her. She also had the same kind of focus I had when it came to our diets, neither of us fell off the wagon. I was just telling her about my current weight loss and then spewing to her about what Isabella did in the locker room. Nikki listened and gave her input and thankfully she agreed with me about how b***** Isabella was being. I think the entire team all thinks Isabella thinks she's better than us just because she's a little bit smarter than the rest of us. Whatever, I'm still skinnier than her.
We all decided to play a little scrummage game of our desired sport so we all got into teams. Because someone was missing we had an even number of girls for each team so it worked out perfectly. I was on Rebeccas team and she had just scored a goal so we were all jumping up and cheering. When we all calmed down I thought I heard some sounds sort of like bumping or something being thrown against something like a wall but when I looked around I couldn't find anywhere it could have come from. I figured it was just part of my imagination and I should just focus on the team and the party. We all finished the game and Rebecca noticed that Jane was still gone so she asked if someone would go get her. Offering to go look for her and bring her back I set off out of the gym and down the halls.
As I was walking I passed the lunch room and in turn the vending machines. I heard my stomach growl and as I looked towards the giant machine with snacks I felt my mouth start salivating. I knew I had change in my pocket but I couldn't, I shouldn't it would be wrong. Eating was wrong and this vending machine would ruin everything. I felt my hand go into my pockets and heard as the change jingled in my hand as the coins smacked together. I looked down at my hand and counted the money, there was enough for at least one snack, maybe chips. When I looked up again towards the vending machine I jumped back in surprise because there leaning against the machine was the janitor and he was eating a candy bar. I watched as his mouth smacked open and he chewed like a cow, in turn I became so disgusted with him and myself for even thinking of going off my diet. Feeling so much annoyance I decided that it was the janitors fault for my fall from grace.
“What are you looking at? Ugh, you're disgusting, eating like a pig” he just continued to eat his candy and I just grew even more upset.
“Do you know how many empty calories are in that? Not like you care, you're already huge” That made him stop chewing for a second. He looked at me and then at his half eating candy, stretching out his arm he sort of flicked his hand with the bar in it as if to ask if I wanted any. Of course I didn't want any, so I rolled my eyes at him and started to walk away as I looked back at him he was walking away from the lunch room and he exited out the other end of the cafeteria. Now I was all alone it the empty hall and I took myself further away from the lunch area. I was muttering under my breath about how rude he was that I didn't see the figure come out from behind the corner and grab me.
“What the hell are you doing! Get off! I'll scream rape! I'll scream I swear!” I tried to fight him off but all they did was pull out a bag of what looked like chips and after opening them the stranger started shoving them down my throat choking me. I tried to cough them out or swallow them or something but they just kept shoving them down my throat. The bag had run out of chips and now this person was just choking me, I could feel myself start to fade, to pass out and as I was passing into unconsciousness I felt the man release my neck and start to drag me back towards the cafeteria. I couldn't fight him anymore though as by that time I was fully passed out. The last thought that crossed my mind was that the girls would find me, someone would find me and save me. I was sure of it.





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