So Close and Never too Far

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Rays of sunshine were hitting my pale fair skin. I picked up a handful of sand and clamped my hand. Something was off but I couldn’t get my hands quite on it. For some reason this day felt perfect unlike any other day. Is there such thing as perfect? The ocean seemed to go on forever caring waves that made a stop at the far end of the beach. There was no human in sight, I felt alone. Not a single soul in view. I was at the beach, yes, however, how did I get here? A simple thought I chose to forget and not question any further. Birds flew by but no airplanes, why? Many questions crossed my mind but I had no answer. The sun began to fall, making a view that appeared to be like a painting which I loved. I made my way home just like any other day. The abnormal feeling began to finally vanish. Every day became the same old routine like my mother’s old record playing the same song over and over. Yet I was happy. Days started to go by and everything worked in my favor. Since when did the word take a turn and become such a nice place to live in? Once again I chose not to question it any further.
May 28, 1962. I finally convinced mother to let me go out surfing. You see I’m not such a good surfer and after the day I came home with my right hand creating a river of blood as I walked, she hasn’t let me lay a hand on my board, but it’s my birthday today she has to let me. It was another sunny day. I couldn’t wait to ride a wave. The walk to the beach appeared longer than usual, maybe because I was for some odd reason analyzing every person I saw. Every human gave the impression as if I had met them at one point in my life. For a second I thought this tall young man I saw down by old lily’s was uncle Tim. But Uncle Tim had no longer been in our world for more than two years now. Once again I left the haunting thought behind.
The waves were perfect in every way. Crashing and devouring everything in its sight. I was out in the water with my new blue swimming trunks mother bought for me. I could see the most amazing wave coming tours me, almost as if I was the one creating it. Before I knew it I was on top of the wave. I felt powerful but lacking confidence. Russell, was always better at everything than me, even surfing. He succeeded at everything because of his strong confidence, something I needed to work on. I found myself under water and soon on land lying in sand. The sun had been covered by a light shade of gray clouds. I tried standing up but couldn’t. I touched my hip and could tell it was out of place. Why can’t I feel pain? When you dislocate something you feel pain. This was weird. I could feel everything in my body but knew my hip wasn’t right and I should be feeling pain. But it never came across. The clouds started to move west and the sun began to peek out from behind. Rays of light were shining on me as I touched my wound that I felt no pain from. Suddenly my hip was fixed and I could stand up. Could this really be happening, where am I?
Confused and alone I walked what seemed for miles not knowing exactly where I was. I needed my mother, I was scared and afraid. I came to a stop about three miles away from where I had started and began to weep as if I was five years old again. I didn’t know where I was or how I got here. Everything was different; I knew the world didn’t work this way. It was too perfect. A familiar voice came from behind me. A voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was a tall, light skin, young man. I recognized him but fear too. Why would I be with Uncle Tim?
“Don’t cry old sport,” he said laying his hand on my back trying to calm me down.
“Uncle Tim I’m not alive am I?” I managed to say
“Everyone has to leave at one point in their life, our time just came early,” he said.

Timothy Gail had died over two years ago in a horrible car crash. He was a nice man who didn’t deserve to die. Never did I think death was so close until actual life its self was gone. So quickly life was swept away from my soul.

“Happy birthday old sport,” he said with a calm, soothing voice.
I could barely say thank you. He led me towards a foggy area jus half a mile up the road.
Still trying to help me calm down he said, “I want you to see something, your brother has brought you a gift.”
Once we got to our destination the place didn’t seem as foggy anymore. The sky had cleared up, there were birds singing, and I could tell the grass had been freshly cut because of the strong herby aroma tickling my nose. Tomb stones covered the place, we were at a cemetery. This was where I was buried and I knew which stone belonged to me. My tomb stone was right next to Uncle Tim and both of them were covered in all sorts of flowers. The flowers were so beautiful, so full of life, something I didn’t have any more. On mine there laid a card and underneath all those flowers laid my surfing board as well.
Dear Robb,
Happy Birthday. You’re now watching over me in a better place. I thank you for all the great things you did for me. I know I wasn’t the best older brother but I couldn’t of had a better little brother than you were. I will never forget you and soon we will be in the same place. Maybe you can show me around, show me all the nice spots. Say hello to Uncle Tim for me please. We all miss you both very much. See you soon ‘till the end of my world.








Love Russell.





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