Confessions of Blood

April 24, 2011
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“Well, how are we doing today Mr. Fox?” said the psychologist.
Mr. Fox looked up from the window he was gazing out of with some surprise. Normally on appointments such as these, he was the first to speak.
“Fine, just fine.” He said in his usual soft, silky murmur. He looked at the psychologist for a moment, and then went back to looking out of the window, sighing while he does it.
The psychologist studied Mr. Fox’s demeanor for a moment, wondering what was wrong. As she looked at him, she noted the usual things. Such as his pale grey skin color, his all black attire, and his sharp and defined facial features. But there was also something else. Something different about him today. Normally by this time he was talking up a storm, telling her all about his past couple days. Normally so quick and witty, today he just seemed to be brooding over something, or at least distracted about something.
“Really,” she said somewhat sharply, “because you don’t seem fine. You seem as if something is on your mind and in all of the years that I’ve known you whenever you have something on your mind, you always tell me about it. Now, what makes today different?”
Mr. Fox once again looked up from the window he was gazing out of, and stared at her. While he was staring, he was thinking. Thinking about whether or not he could tell the truth.
After sitting there for several moments thinking, he decided he could. After all, he reasoned with himself, I’ve know her for more than ten years, and she has always been understanding in the past. Now should be no different. Besides, it’s not as if this is the first time this has ever happened.
“I had a bit of a mishap, the other night.” He confessed somewhat shamefaced, and with his dark eyes downcast.
“What kind of accident?” She asked, narrowing her eyes, already starting to prepare herself for the worst possible scenario.
“Well first off I didn’t mean to do anything and I truly tried to stop myself, but you know how at around this time, I start to ge-“
“Fox, get to the point.” She cut across. She knew him well enough to understand that if she didn’t keep him on subject, he could go on for hours.
“Well,” he started somewhat hurt and crestfallen by her interrupting. “I was out last night at the bar just trying to enjoy myself and well, you know, just kind of unwind.”
“Indeed,” the psychologist put in dryly, “because you are always oh so stressed.”
“Excuse me, but do you want me to tell the story or not? And don’t forget that I can change to a different psychologist in a minute.”
“Fair enough,” she conceded, “Continue.”
Mr. Fox raised his eye brows and looked expectant.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Please.”
“Thank you” he said looking quite pleased with himself. “Now, where was I? Oh yes, at the bar.”
“Well, I was at the bar, having a good time and enjoying myself. I didn’t have anything to drink, and as a result a little on edge, but nothing severe mind you. So as I’m there, I see this girl across the bar. All alone, no ring, a flimsy fruity drink in her hand to make people think she’s drunk, and to top it all off, she was wearing the smallest little dress. All the right signs of a woman that is desperately trying to find a fool in a bar.”
“Naturally,” Fox said with a small and sheepish grin tugging at the ends of his mouth, “I was more than happy and prepared to play the part of that fool.”
“As your psychologist, you know that I have to tell you that that’s considered destructive behavior for your self esteem. Especially for someone as old as you.” She said as if she has said it too many times.
“First off” Fox began chagrined at being called old, “I am not old. Old to you, perhaps, but not by the standers of others such as I. Second, it does not damage my self esteem so long as I can emotionally separate myself from what I am doing.”
“Anyways” he started again, before she could start telling him how wrong he was, “back to the girl. So, I decide to walk over to this girl and introduce myself.”
“A couple hours later, one thing leads to another, and I find myself walking out the bar with this young lady towards her place. Now when we’re about halfway there, she sees someone across the way, and she says she needs to hide and suddenly becomes really rather urgent. So before I could even ask what was going on, we slip into this old abounded alleyway. “
“Well, whoever she was trying to hide from saw her and started running toward us. As this person came toward us, I discover it’s a man, he begins swearing and calling her, well just about everything you could call a women that’s not flattering.”
“Now he’s in the alleyway, and is standing right in front of us. As the cursing and screaming continues, I began to discern that these two are a freshly divorced couple.”
Fox paused for breath. “This really is quite a depressing story, surly I don’t have to continue.”
The psychologist smiled at him grimly, “No, you don’t. But you’re going to anyway.”
Fox groaned, and resigned himself to the fact that he was just going to have tell her, and get it over and done with. “Fine,” he grumbled.
“So, at this point this very upset man has started to round on me. And in his rage, he starts to shove and push me. I’m still keeping my composure, but am also getting frustrated.”
“And then,” Fox sighed “he threw a punch. And things just went downhill from there. Fast.”
“Surprise surprise,” the psychologist audibly muttered, while looking at Fox with dissatisfaction while shaking her head. She had a good idea of where this little confession was going.
Fox pointedly ignored her. She had looked at him like that before. On occasions just like this one, no less.
“After he swings,” he continued, “I fall down, and this poor woman, for the life of me I can’t remember her name, is now screaming at her Ex husband and is telling him that he was overreacting and is being a unpleasant little piece of work, though she used words a bit more harsh than that .”
“He then, upon hearing this, slaps her across the face. And there went the end of my patience. So, I got up off of the ground, completely lost my temper and. . . .” he hesitated. “Dealt with him.”
The psychologist, who was looking down and shaking her head, suddenly looked up and narrowed her eyes at Mr. Fox. “In front of the women?” she asked somewhat surprised.
“Well it wasn’t as if I did it on purpose.” Fox defended. “It just sort of, happened.”
“It ‘happened’ in the presence of an innocent.” The psychologist said fired up. “And you of all people should know that is a very dangerous thing to do for your kind!”
“It was not my fault!” Fox said now equally fired up. “He was the one that threw the punch, not me. After that, it could be argued that I was just defending myself.”
“Argued, perhaps.” She shot back, “But not proven. Because the fact is Fox, is that you need to be better at keeping control of your emotions whenever you are confronted. And what in the world did the girl do upon seeing all of this? And more importantly, did you deal with her afterwards? Because you know that after someone witnesses something like that. . . .” she trailed off.
“After I did what I did, I turned to her, and she just stood there staring at me. Now I try to explain, but she kept standing there starring at me. Then she started to scream. And after she calls me a monster and a lunatic, all the usual names, and she tries to run. I catch her, and I tell her that I’m sorry, because I really was, and that it was too bad that it had to end like this and that I had no choice, and then I, well, I did what my law forces me to do in that kind of situation.”
“You mean the kind of situation that you started, because you can’t keep you head.” The psychologist said still with some heat.
Fox just looked at her sadly, and sighed.
They sat there for several moments, neither one of them speaking, just staring at each other.
Finally the psychologist spoke. “Fox, I think that this session is over, and my advice to you is this: Face up to what you did, and learn from it. Then take a vacation, clear you head, and get your composure back.”
“All right.” Fox sighed.
“Good,” she said with satisfaction, and began to rise out of her chair. “Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to go and grab some lunch before me next patient. And I don’t suppose,” she added suddenly with sadistic humor, “that you will be wanting me to grab you something to eat as well?”
Fox couldn’t help but smile his sharp toothed smile at that. “No,” he said chuckling, his large white teeth gleaming while he does so. “I’m still quite full.”

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