February 11, 2011
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“You know they say these woods are haunted” Cameron says to Lily as they sit on a picnic blanket in the middle of the woods. Lily just gives him a look of incredulity.

“Do we really have to be here shooting this scene right now?” She says, breaking out of character. “I mean Keith isn’t even here yet and it’s his film.”

“You know they say these woods are haunted” Cameron says to Lily as they sit on a picnic blanket in the middle of the woods. Lily just gives him a look of incredulity.

“Do we really have to be here shooting this scene right now?” She says, breaking out of character.

Lily sighs.

“You’re right…you’re right.” She says staring in a daze at the blinking red light on the camcorder positioned by a tree, kept upright by its cradle. “It’s just scary here, that’s all. It also doesn’t help that the sun is setting.” The trees surrounding the two college students appear to go on for miles, allowing an isolated feel. Anything could happen and no one from town would know a thing.

“I agree. Let’s just do this and get out of here.” Cameron says rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans. He goes into his role again repeating the first line.

Lily acts the part of the scared teenage girl, although its hard to tell whether she is actually acting or not. “Do you think it’s true? That there really is a ghost out here that would harm someone?”

“So far so good right?” he answers with a smirk. “We’ve been here at least an hour and nothing has happened.”

“But it’s getting late. We should go.” Lily answers in character, beginning to push herself off the ground. Suddenly there is a noise among the leaves scattered around atop the ground.

“Did you hear that?” Cameron asks suddenly alert. Lily just thinks he’s joking.

“Dude, don’t play me like that. You know I’m already scared.” The noise sounds again allowing for Lily to hear it. “Did you do that?” she asks ready to make Cameron the scapegoat. He give her a look that says ‘are you kidding me’ then replies “I’m sitting right in front of you how could it be me?”

“Well, go look you’re the guy” she prods.

“I got a better idea. Why don’t we make like a tree and leave? Keith can film another day”

“Amen. baby.” Lily agrees and starts to gather the blanket as Cameron moves to get their bags that they threw on the side upon arriving. The noise appears again causing her to freeze mid fold. “Cameron?” she calls out. There’s no reply. “Ugh, Cameron answer me.” she says exasperated as she turns around. The sight she was expecting was completely different from what she saw. Keith was facing toward her with a shocked grotesque look upon his face. A glance further down from his face to his chest would reveal a sharp object peeking through his flesh as blood oozed around the epicenter. The monster standing behind him pulls the blade back out, wiping it clean as Cameron drops to the ground. Still in shock Lily watches her eyes slowly moving to look at the attacker. However, the face is covered by a devils mask concealing their identity.

She starts to scream as the beast moves closer, the black outfit making his motions appear fluid. Trying to will her legs to move in the opposite direction she turns only to be grabbed by her pony tail. Her head being yanked back the killer slits her throat allowing the blood to poor down like a fountain. Once finished he shoves her body to the ground and looks in the direction of the camera where the red light is still blinking. He moves towards it and embracing its familiar frame clicks the stop button.

End of scene.

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Braves1011 said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Good stroy. It could have used a little more description and it was fast paced. But other than that, it was good
Braves1011 said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Good story, but you could have used a little more description and it was a little fast paced. other than that, it was good
Megan.J.B said...
Feb. 23, 2011 at 10:01 pm

I liked the plot, although it wasn't entirely original; it had pizazz. :)

I think that the description wasn't there. I also thought it moved along far to fast as there was no character development and also I believe you said Keith once as a mistake for Cameron in the second last paragraph. There were a few other minor errors such as that, but I liked it. :P

charmiypiggy said...
Feb. 18, 2011 at 3:52 am

Since you have to read a 5 chapter novel, I think I'll do two of your articles. 


First of all, your story is lacking in description and punctuation. There is a little confusion at the part where Cameron/Keith gets killed.I'm not entirely sure what happens then. You seem to have taken a liking to present tense, and it's good that you remember to use it. And the part where Cameron says 'Make like a tree and leave.' That doesn't really make sense. The storyline was OK, ... (more »)

Tatiel said...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Oo, very nice. I love how it is written in present tense, very interesting. Also I like the last line, "end of scene." Leaves me wondering if that was all part of the film...or if it really DID happen. Very well done!
Sierra H. said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 7:35 pm
It was actually very good, It could have used a little bit more describing words. But other than that it was fantastic
chelliex65 replied...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Thank you :D
lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 8:49 pm
I really like the whole plot of the story, but I do agree with Sierra that you could use more description, especially at the beginning. I also love the name Lily and how you spelled it (sorry that's bias, it's my name). I don't know if you did this on purpose but a couple of the paragraphs repeated in the beginning. If it wasn't on purpose, I would get it fixed and if it was, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I also think in the beginning you used their actual names way too much. You sh... (more »)
chelliex65 replied...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Thank you. Yeah the repeating in the beginning wasn't intentional. thank you for pointing that out. lol. :)
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