Silent screams

February 8, 2011
To the naked eye this room is plain and silent, nothing but four walls and a window. But, to me it is anything but normal. When others hear silence, I hear the screams of the hopeless, the lost, and the forgotten. The boring white walls that strangers saw were burned with the finger prints, lies and secret of the people that once loved me. Although the room was warm, I'd never felt colder. The memories that worked through my veins were like pieces of glass shooting through my arms. The memories carried heavy baggage of pain, it was unbearable. I closed my eyes going back to the first night I had walked into this room. Sean had my hand in his.
"Come on, baby." He smiled, looking in my eyes.
"If at any second you feel uncomfortable, we’ll leave." He tried, unsuccessfully, to reassure me.
I knew what we were doing was wrong. So why didn't I say anything? Then I remembered, I wasn't Anna around seen, I was Selena. Sean had never even heard of Anna. She was a stranger to him, and that night, she was to me too. I extended my hand, wrapping my fingers around the knob. As soon as I pushed the door open, I yanked my hand back, curling my fingers then extending them a few times at my side. It was a stupid reaction, but that door knob had seen more hands then a new born baby. Who knows what kind of people touched it. What kind of sickness they carried. The sound of shattering glass reeled me back to reality. My eyes scanned the doorway, as if it was change by the end of the night.
"Selena," Sean called from inside.
I hadn't even realized he had moved from my side. I took my first step in. The lights were dim, and the music was much softer then you would have expected from a place like this. I looked down at the floor, which at one point must have been white, but now it was dingy, and dirty. There was shattered class pooled around my feet.
"HEY!" A high pitch voice, yelled at me.
"Yes?" I tilted my head up.
"Watch your step wouldn't want your pretty little shoes getting a hole in them."
I could easily pick up the southern twang in her voice. Finally, my eyes reached her petite figure. She was rather pretty. Her cheek bones sat a little higher than most girls, but her eyes were where all the attention was. They were crystal blue, at that moment, I feared to look into them, as if she would look deep into my soul, and dig out my dirty little secret. She turned her back to me, 'Causing her black curls to bounce on her tiny shoulders. Sean walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame.
"Oh, Melissa." He cooed.
"I know, anger is 'n ugly trait." She sighed, placing her head perfectly on Sean’s chest.
She must have been no taller than five, six.
"Why did you get mad this time?" He said, bringing his eyes to her face.
She paused, biting her cherry red lips.
"Ben." she said in a hush- hush tone.
"Don't even continue. I already hate him enough as it is."
"I don't understand why."
He snorted," Obviously, you've been too drunk for yourself."
"Hey!" She shrieked.
He laughed as he avoided her swinging hand. I still hadn't moved. I was analyzing my surroundings. Very Anna of me. There was a bright green couch in the corner that was occupied by two guys who sat close; their gazes were soft and intimate. Anna was born in a strict catholic home, where homosexuality was strongly looked down upon. One of them must have felt my stare, for he had looked up at me as I stood in my own little world. He smiled at me, I soon realized my mouth was ajar. I quickly snapped it closed, blushing. He laughed and slipped his hand from his partner’s gentle grasp. He glided over to me, very graceful, beautiful almost.
"Hi." He beamed.
"H- H- Hello," I stuttered stupidly.
He chuckled," I'm Trevor." he extended his hand smiled shyly, placing my hand in his, shaking it gently.
"I'm Selena." I said softly.
"Who are you here with?"
"Ah. So, you must be new to this."
"New?" I laughed, shaking my head.
"You're not?" His eyebrows folding down.
"Hardly. I'm just new to this place."
"Oh. Where have you been?"
I shrugged," You know that empty warehouse at Second and Sky."
He nodded," Ah. I see."
I smiled, pulling my best Ha- Ha grin.
He laughed, “Well, you know you're way around. That’s no doubt."
"I do," I said, pushing my hair behind my shoulders.
I could hear Sean slamming down his shot glass down, indicating for Melissa to re- fill it.
"I've never seen anyone down so much ever clear and not throw up." Trevor said, his attention on Sean’s back.
"He has a strong stomach," I shrugged.
"Seany- Boy!" Trevor hollered.
Sean spun around, putting his glass on the bar, that stretched from one wall to the other, a small opening at the end as an entrance.

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