At Ease

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It’s dark, her eyes are so swollen she can barely open them. Nothing makes sense she has no clue as to where she is or what had just happened to her. Her body was drenched and the smell of blood circulated the air as she laid there motionless. What seemed like hours later she finally gained enough energy to push herself up. She could faintly hear the cries. They were the hopeless cries of her newborn baby girl. But there was nothing she could do, she had no strength to do anything about it. She felt as if she was nailed to the floor boards. Tears streamed down her face, you could hear the pain in her screams to let someone know she was there but it wouldn’t make a difference. She only remembers her attempt to leave.
They were the perfect pair. Everyone who knew them envied them, she was beautiful, he was handsome of course. They were high school sweet hearts and planned to get married right after graduation. It was summer now and as they started to plan their lives together they hit a speed bump. He would enroll in the army in the fall. Tension grew between them. He started mistreating her more and more every day and when he finally left it was more of a relief to her. Years would pass in between the times he was able to come home, as the years faded, so did their love for each other. She dreaded each time she saw him pull into the driveway. She wondered what was wrong with her, she should be running out to him and jumping in his arms. But she’d rather hide. The army took a huge toll on his mind. He had nightmares about the blood, he didn’t even seem sane anymore. He relied on the bottle to get him through, he took his frustration and anger out on her, he didn’t care how it hurt, he wanted her to feel the pain he has to feel. She would never tell, she loved him. At least she wanted to. When he left again she felt as if she could finally breathe, until she started throwing up every morning. There was no one there to help her so she dealt on her own, she was independent , she had to be given the circumstances. Days went by and nothing got better, a visit to the doctor would forever change her life for the better. “You’re pregnant” those words were like knives at first piercing into her throat. It surely wasn’t planned he would want nothing to do with a child of hers. He wanted nothing to do with her when it happened either it was more torture to watch her suffer. Telling him was out of the question he would have to find out when he returned, by the time he returns the child will already be born. His reaction scared her, what could he do to it? What would he do to her… She had a hard decision to make. She couldn’t stay with this man and risk her child’s safety she had to get out of this for herself as well. One more beating would not only kill her emotionally, but physically. It was time. She had a girl and named her Belle, because of the meaning. It means beautiful in French and though this child was unplanned and even unwanted at first she was more beautiful than anything she had seen before. She was the only life she had left. Her husband arrived that day. Her heart raced as he walked up the sidewalk. Belle was only five months old, she was scared for both of their lives. He stood there with the blankest look on his face as if he didn’t believe it could be true. “It’s not mine.” He said, firmly and motionless. “She is yours, I found out the day after you left, but I’m leaving, we’re leaving. You’ve walked all over me and I’ve stayed loyal to you but you don’t deserve me or your daughter. You’re no solider. I no longer need your attention, at ease.”





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