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Whatever You Say I Am Not Crazy

They think I’m crazy. And I tell you that I am not crazy. Yes I call the police station a lot, but that’s just because I care about myself and my neighbors. It’s not like they care about me. On Saturday I even baked a fruit cake and gave it to the Jensens, but what did they do?! I saw them an hour later throw it out, no respect for the elderly I tell you. It’s not like when I was a girl, I looked up to my grandmother for wisdom and advice, and things have sure changed since then. So as I was saying I’m not crazy, but since last night I’m positive everybody thinks I am. Here is what happened.
There I was sitting down knitting my daughter a lovely maroon sweater, watching Wheel of Fortune, when I looked out the window. Outside there was a lovely baby deer lying on my back lawn. Now I walked over to the window and saw that it wasn’t moving. Now of course I was worried, I didn’t want a dead deer in my yard, which would be just unsanitary. And coyotes could come! What would I do if they ate Mrs. Wiskersens? So I gathered my senses and dialed 911.
“911 what is your emergency?” the operator said.
“Yes hello,” I stated, “this is Mrs. Smith from Magnolia court and I have another emergency.”
“Mrs. Smith what could it possibly this time. I can assure you that an astronaut is not trying to break into your house.”
“Look my son was dressed exactly like an astronaut and he didn’t have a key, but that isn’t why I am calling. There is a dead deer on my lawn and I want it gone. Please send an officer immediately.”
“Okay, fine Officer Green is on his way.”
I hung up the phone and went back to my show and knitting. Ten minutes later officer green pulled up. I said hello and lead him out to the back yard. We get up to the wounded deer. Now I had forgotten my glasses in the house, and my eyesight isn’t where it used to be. I stood a few feet away while he expected it.
“Umm…Mrs. Smith I don’t know how to tell you this, but this isn’t a deer.”
“What do you mean, what animal is it then.”
“This isn’t an animal at all; in fact it’s a deflated red dinosaur balloon that has landed in your yard so…”





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WriterNinja48 said...
Jan. 29, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Good idea; however, with my extremely critical reading style, I have plenty of suggestions. First of all, keep the grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc, CLEAN! Nothing ruins your ethos more than missing out five hundred different commas... Second, what was the point of this story? So...does this balloon have to do with anything? If you want it to be a twist ending, build it up more and release it suddenly.

Sorry for my criticism :P. Keep working though. Reading and writing a lot w... (more »)

 
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