Pain from the Essence of Friendship

January 25, 2011
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Vladislav - a glorious rule - I think not. Vladislav - a name given to me, a poor factory worker. I do not deserve that name. I sit behind a factory window watching my fellow workers get shot. Their families grieve, and I just sit here. All the shots fired rang in my ears. People running out into the Petrograd streets to protest their hunger - their deprivation of their necessities. This is what war does to a country, I guess - turns them into savages - takes away loved ones. I have no loved ones here. I need only to worry of the friends that are among me. Friends that were slowly decreasing by the moment. My good friends had knowledge to not be so ignorant. They know to stay inside this factory - no matter what condition they’re in.

Then, I saw him run out - Gav, my good friend. He ran out the factory doors, and in an instant he was shot. The ring of the shot stayed in my head – forever lasting – forever ringing – forever staying – forever he’s dead. A single tear rolled down my cheek. A single tear I shed for Gav – one single tear. One tear that felt like a million. Why would he ever do that? He was not stupid like the others. He had common sense.

I had excruciating trouble finishing on my work. Shots rang like bombs in my ears – Bang! – Bang! – Bang! Forever that gunshot will ring. Forever Gav will rest. Forever – Forever – Forever! Maybe I should join him. Join him in the afterlife. No more war, no more pain, and no more troubles. Death could set me free. Free like a bird soaring through the sky. For the pain I bare is tearing me apart inside.

But why would I do this to myself? Gav is just one friend - a friend who was driven by madness to do such an idiotic act. Why would I give up life to rest with him. He would never do that for me – I’m sure of it. This war will end. Why would I give up my life when something good could come out of living? Life itself is a prize among mankind. Why would I give up that prize?

I know why I would - to stop the pain of the present. I may never see this war end anyway with the conditions I live in now. Why be tortured by the hands of pain, when I could die and be freed?

It will get better soon – I know it. Every day the sun sets and dark and light come together and set together. Maybe that will happen here. Maybe so many people striking will get the word out, and give us a brighter tomorrow when the dark leaves and light returns.

No! – That will never happen soon. This war could go on for centuries. I’d never be alive to see its pitiful end. Nobody even knows if it will be a happy end or a sad one.

I couldn’t contain the madness – The conflicting emotions in me. I ran to the door and pushed it open exposing myself. Bang! – Rest in peace, Gav. I’ll be resting with you.





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