Dauntless Sara

January 20, 2011
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Once upon a time there lived an adroit, young baker. Her name was Sara; she was beautiful and very talented. She used either of her hands to paint frosting onto her many delicious pastries, she was ambidextrous from birth. One day, a young boy, named Henry, walked into the bakery asking to be her apprentice. She’d never had anyone work with her before.

Sara didn’t think it was a good idea until she realized how destitute he was. She finally came to a conclusion and told him he was hired but on one condition. He had to economize all the money earned and be very frugal with what he buys. He agreed and got to work. Sara made it clear that even though the bakery was very affluent; his salary was only $6 an hour.

Henry didn’t like that because he had such avarice because he wanted a new bike. He wanted a new bike so badly that he decided to just steal some of the money after the store closed and covet it for his desires.

Later that day before the store was about to close, Henry called one of his friends to see if they would help him. Foolishly enough, Sara was standing right behind him, listening to the conversation. She now had a plan to stay after work and catch the villains. Being as audacious as she is, she still felt apprehensive.

It was now closing time and Henry was in the store as planned, taking the money from the cash register. Sara exploited her knowledge and jumped out from the corner to bust him. He cravenly cowered until the police came to take him away. And that was the day Sara dauntlessly caught a villain.

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IntrepidRose This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Cute style, but it needs more description. What's Henry's background? You don't wake up one morning and decide to steal money from your employer. He's poor. How poor? How was her shop set up? How is it that they didn't know she was there when they went to steal? One final question. So what? Why is this story worth reading? Why is it so important that she caught a theif? What's her background?

Nice little story though. Keep writing.

Sammee Thomas replied...
Mar. 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Thanks, I agree. This was an English assignment where we had to use a lot of vocabulary words.. I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sense but my English teacher liked it and told me to submit it.
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