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The Night of Horror

By , Commack, NY
Two children, Ben and Joe, were best friends and did everything together. They walked to school together, they hung out with each other every day after school, and they always had each other's back. Ben was 13 years old. He had blonde hair which he always spiked. He was about 5'3 and he was about 95 pounds. Joe was 14 years old. He had brown hair, and always wore a Mets hat. He only wore that because the Mets just won the World Series. Joe was about 5'5. He weighed about 110 pounds and he was very handsome.

One day, Ben and Joe were riding their bikes around town when Ben had this urge to get shaving cream and spray people's cars with it. Ben and Joe rode their bikes to the general store. There Ben picked out the biggest shaving cream bottle the store had and bought it. The store clerk warned the kids not to use the shaving cream stupidly. The two boys completed ignored the wise comment and walked out of the store. Ben and Joe rode their bikes back to Joe's house. On their way home, they noticed a building that seemed to be abandoned and boarded up. Like every 13 and 14 year old, they needed to explore it. As they approached the run-down structure, there was a hole in the side of the building. The boys agreed that they will meet up at this building after dinner. The boys both went back to their homes. The sun was setting and the air was becoming cooler. The boys had finished their dinner and head back out to the building. Once they both got there, Ben pulled something out of his pocket. It was the shaving cream that he purchased a few hours ago. Ben explained to Joe that he wanted to write all over the walls with the shaving cream. Joe wanted to also, so the embarked on their journey into the hole they found a few hours ago. As both of them entered the abandoned building, they noticed a strange smell in the air. They ignored it. Since they did not bring any flashlights, they needed to use the light from the sun to see. They ventured there way into a smaller sized room. They thought that this room would be a great place to use their shaving cream. Ben was writing silly things like, "Ben Was Here," on the walls. Joe was writing the same sort of thing. Suddenly, they both heard a crash. They glanced over at each other in shock. Ben asked Joe if he did it, but Joe said no. It was probably a mouse they exclaimed. They kept going with their "graffiti" for a few more minutes when another strange thing happened. The building was getting dark very quickly. Joe said that it is probably a storm. He was right. A few seconds later they heard the sound on thunder. Then a few seconds after that, it started down pouring. The rain was really loud. So loud that they could barely talk to each other. They agreed that they should get out of here, but their words were cut off by a eerie screech. They both were now horrified. They dropped their shaving cream bottles and bolted for the hole in the side of the wall. They couldn't find it! The clouds from the storms were blocking their light source. They started panicking. The only way they were supposed to see was by the flash of the lightning. Even with the lightning, they still couldn't find their way out. Suddenly they heard a faint moaning coming from the hallway in back of them. The couldn't see anything, but when a flash of lightning happened, they saw what was behind them. It was a little girl looking at them with eyes that were completely black. The girl stood at about 4 feet and she was wearing a robe with little flowers on it. She was wearing no shoes and it seemed that she had something red dripping from her mouth. As the bolt of lightning that lit the room ended, another down occurred. The room lit up once more, and the girl was gone. Now the two boys screamed and ran in separate directions. Ben was running up a empty hallway when he suddenly was tripped by something. He was on the floor. He fell face first. A bolt of lightning lit up the hallway as Ben was getting up, when he realized that there were toes in front of his face. He let out a cry for help and screamed. Joe was still trying to find his way out, but he heard Ben scream. Joe thought to himself that he can't go back. He had to try to find the exit to find help. Another bolt of lightning lit up the room Joe was in. This time he caught glance of the hole in which the two friends entered. Joe sprinted for the exit. He reached the exit and started climbing over the boards that they needed to get over to get in. Just before he could get his left leg out from the building, he got jerked back by something pulling a his leg. As he got jerked back, his hat flew off and onto the grass in front of him. He let out one final scream for help and was dragged back into the building by something.

The next day Joe's mom called up Ben's mom and asked if they have seen either one of boys. They both said no and they were worried. They called the cops. The cops set out a search party for the boys. One of the cops found Joe's hat on the grass in front of a large piece of land that was occupied at a time, but there was nothing there.

The cops gave up their search after three and a half years. The parents of the kids were devastated. The boys were declared dead after they found the hat, but no kid.





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

redz14 said...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I really liked it!! However, I thought it was a little too straight forward and maybe you could have given a little more detail throughout the story. But, don't get discourage I really did enjoy it :)
 
Lizzie123 said...
Dec. 18, 2010 at 5:56 pm

the story itself is good....but PLEASE next time you write something dont just have it in one huge paragrah!and you could add a little dialog...there also isnt much word variation which makes it less exciting.

im not trying to be rude but i think your story could be better if you presented it in a different way. :)

 
ilovemath=) said...
Dec. 17, 2010 at 10:32 pm
I LOVE horror, so ive seen plenty and watched plenty. So i really dont think this is spectacular. The end was okay but the begininning was boring. I think you should keep going with the writing though!!!
 
kennapie12 said...
Dec. 17, 2010 at 8:18 pm
at the end you almost think they will make it!! great great it gave you the feeling; sitting at the edge of your seat waiting for something!!
 
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