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“It would be best if you just put me away officer.” I said. The officer looked into my eyes.
“Gillian, be reasonable. This is not your fault at all, it’s his.” The officer reasoned. He was trying to reason with me that it was not my fault.
“I know that it is not my fault, but I cannot control when he comes out.” It’s true. My soul did nothing, but my body did.
“Aren’t you the dominate one?” The officer asked. The voices in my head wanted to yell out that they were the dominate one, well all except him. The only problem is we all know who it is and we are scared to admit it ourselves.
“In some ways I am, but in others I am not. I am the one that is most frequently out, but he has the ability to come out whenever he pleases. After years I have learned the others’ trigger points, so I try and avoid them as best as possible, but they are always still able to come out at one point or another. Knowing this officer, it would be best if you kept me locked up. It is the only way to keep everyone safe.” I explained. He kept looking at me like he was trying to find a way around keeping me in jail. I was a good kid, cursed with more than one soul, you could say, in my body and they can really come out whenever they wanted. I don’t know why he is trying; there is no hope for me ever trying to overpower him.
“Maybe just maybe if we figure out his trigger point like you did for the others, maybe you will be to suppress him.” The officer suggested.
“I have tried that many times, it never works. He comes out at random times, when I try to suppress him, or when I or someone else says his name. He is the dominate one but he lets the rest of us take control because he wants to stay in hiding after he does a bad thing. He knows that no one else will get punished for what he has done. That is why you need to look me up officer.” I pleaded, but did not listen. There is no hope for me, but he just does not understand.
“Tell me about the others and how they first appeared. I may seem just like an officer to you but in college I studied the human mind.” The officer told me. I sat there for a few moments staring at him, afraid that he or one of the other violent ones would come out. “Take your time whenever you are ready.”
“Well I’ll start at the beginning. When I was younger I was always able to hear the others in my head. I was real young so I thought it was normal for someone to hear voices in my head. It was not till I was about ten when the first one, Lila, came out.
“It was a normal day and I was running up the stairs when I tripped. I did not get hurt or anything, but I felt stupid for tripping. I tried to get up, but I could not move my body. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. That is when I started to black out. I did not black out completely, I could still hear and see what was going on. It was like a dream, it is hard to explain. She (I) started to cry then slowly get up. She was saying things under her breath like ‘I am so useless! I can’t even run up the stairs’. Why do I even exist on this Earth if I cannot do the simplest of tasks?’
“I was freaking out because this was the first time it had ever happened. They had only just talked in my head, now they were taking control of my body. I did not know what was going on at all. By the time I started to pay attention again I noticed that we were at the top of the stairs and she about to throw us down to the bottom. Luckily at that time my mother had heard the loud bang from when I fell and came running to see this sight. She started to say things like: ‘Gillian come down from there. You are going to get hurt, Gillian.’
Lila screamed at my mother, ‘I am not Gillian! I am Lila! My own mother does not know my own name! That just shows how useless I am!’ She was about to jump of the ledge when I gained control. I started to cry and my mother grabbed hold of me and hugged me tight and begged me never to scare her like that again. I told her that I had not done that. It was Lila, one of the voices inside of my head.
She got worried when she heard this, and this is when I started to see the doctor.
“After the next few days I had an encounter with the next one, Rashel. It was one day after school when, the school bullies came and started to pick on me. I started to feel angry and just wanted to tell them off. That is when she came out. She told them off and was ready to pounce, when my mother came and called for me. Rashel yelled at my mom ‘I am not Gillian. I am Rashel.’ Again, my mother was very worried; Rashel was ready to tell off my mom when I came to.
“I was very young during this whole ordeal and it was not until I was 15 when Bliss made her appearance. I was talking to a boy I liked at the time and getting really embarrassed and running out of things to say when she came out. Bliss went all out and was making moves too fast for the both of us. The boy ran off and Bliss was left there standing alone, so she went in search for some one else. By the time I gained control again I was making out with some guy I did not even know.
“There are many more such as Janie, Shawnee, Erin, but it would take to long to tell all of their appearances. I was able to keep them down with the medication the doctor gave me and with finding their trigger points. All but him....”
He stared at me for a few moments taking in all of what he heard. “Well how did he come out? If I know maybe I can help you.” He proposed,
“Well I believe the first time that he came out was after all the others, so around 17. I was in the grocery store with my parents. I had walked off then I blacked out. I don’t remember what had happened during that time but when I gained control of conciseness I was in the back of a police car for stealing.
“I did not get into to much trouble for what he did. The only thing is that he noticed I did not get in trouble for what he did. So he kept coming out and committing crimes, and whoever came out after he did never got in trouble.
“They started out as small crimes barely noticeable, but then they just got larger in size. I never thought that he would go to the lengths of killing people.” I took a moment to breathe and really think about this. I could tell that he was getting angry and he was going to come out soon, but I had to tell the officer. I felt as though I could trust him. The concern in his eyes told me I could trust him.
“What about taking more medication or something?” The officer questioned.
“I’ve tried that. I only get enough to subdue the others before he takes over. He comes out when he likes and just takes control. This is the first time in months that I have been out for so long. I fear that I will be lost soon; I think that he plans to take complete control forever. That is why you have to lock me up!”
The officer stood up and slammed his hands on the table. “No! There has to be a way to help you!”
Gillian’s aura around her began to become darker. “Gillian?” She looked up and gave me a death glare and started to laugh, her voice much deeper then before.
“No officer, Gillian is gone. It is I, Darren.” He replied. He got up and started to walk towards me. I reached for my gun and raised it to him. “You don’t want to do that officer. You don’t want to hurt Gillian do you?” He was right I did not want to her. I started to lower my gun and that is when he kicked me. I flew and hit the wall. He grabbed my gun and pointed it at me.
“Come on Gillian you can fight him. Gain control again.” I shouted. At that moment there was something in their eyes that changed, although it was only for a moment.
Darren looked to the right, “You think you can over power me? It is pointless Gillian!” Darren roared. Their arm began to raise to their head. “What are you doing Gillian!”
Then her voice came out, “It is the only way to protect everyone.” Their hand was shaking; I could tell that there was a struggle going on in there.
“Gillian, there has to be another way.” I begged. Tears began to swell in their eyes,
“It’s the only way to protect everyone. This is my only opportunity to do something, if I don’t I will never come out again. Besides I don’t know what is real anymore.” Bang. She fired the gun and was lost forever. I went over and sat in the chair. I looked down to the floor and closed my eyes. I hate to lose one, especially one that is so troubled. I opened my eyes to see that the blood was starting to puddle up by my feet. Tears started to fall from my eyes and mix with the blood on the ground.
“Laurence are you okay? Do you need help?” Asked Sophie. She came over to my side.
“That would be nice Sophie, I have had a rough night. She helped me up and led me to the door.
“Lets go out to coffee and we can talk about it.” She suggested.
“Sounds nice.” I replied. As we walked out the door many people came in to clean up the body. I sure will have some report to give tomorrow.