The Haunted House

November 18, 2010
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Susan put money into the little slot and waited for the sound of the coin to hit the hard metal box before she pushed open the creaky door. She gently set her foot down and tiptoed into the first maze, the kitchen. For a fake haunted house, this one is pretty scary.
Susan made her way to the kitchen and noticed dark red oozing from the stained carpet and rug. She walked around the island in the middle of the kitchen, where many knives’ blades lay facing towards her. She hesitated. She swerved her hips, ducked, crawled, and jumped so she would not be sliced by the blades.
By the time she was done with the kitchen maze, she was panting like a dog in summer heat. She finally cooled down and caught her breath when she took a long needed drink from her eco friendly water bottle and sat on the cold floor to revive herself. She laid on the icy floor until she realized that she needed to go to the bathroom. She ambled her way into the next dimly lit room hoping to find what she wanted. She kept walking. Hmm, why aren’t there any more mazes and where is the bathroom? Susan kept walking around the house to search for a bathroom but there seemed to be none. That’s weird; I wonder how people lived here? Susan stopped looking for the bathroom and began her search for a different maze, but she couldn’t find one. How is this a haunted house if there is only one maze? She walked over to the door that she came in through, grasped the brass handle, and pulled.
The door didn’t budge. She pulled again. No luck. As hard as she could, she pulled. She tumbled back into something warm yet cold. The feeling was like being wrapped in a warm blanket surrounded by harsh winter air. She looked up. There it was. Floating up and down. Moving side to side. It moved swiftly and she felt tranced. She screamed but nothing came out. She moved but couldn’t. The figure glided up the stairs. She resisted. But still felt the urge to go. Her body lurched forward as she took a step. It was like someone had possessed her. Her body moved quickly as the figure glided up the wooden stairs.
Susan followed the figure into a room with mirrors covering every inch of the wall and mirrors lying on the floor. She strolled forward to the center of the room and stood exactly on the X engraved into the rosewood floor. She saw the image of herself that reflected from the mirror surrounded by the gold frame. She stood gazing at the other mirrors that were strewn on the floor and hung on the wall. She stared. In the mirror, hundreds of faces were staring back at her. These faces were unrecognizable. These faces looked hungry for blood.
As she took a step, the eyes with the look of evil followed. One boy in the mirror caught her eye. She stood there staring.
Who is this? Susan stopped and thought hard. The boy looked so familiar yet so unknown. The boy in the mirror had started shaking wildly. He breathed to fog the mirror and used his only finger to write out a message.

B. . . E . . . W . . . A . . . R . . . E . . . BEWARE. Of what? Susan gave a look of confusion. The boy wiped the fog and started over.

Death is what?! Susan frowned as she furrowed her eyebrows in desperation to understand.
The boy opened his eyes wide and looked bewildered. He seemed to be staring at someone out in the hallway. Susan turned her small body around. She could not see anything. She only heard the faint breathing of the person. She looked back at the boy in the mirror. By now, he had spelled out RUN! She walked closer to the door. Closer and closer by each step she took.
Step. Step. Step. Step…
As she got to the door, the breathing of the person outside became heavier. The breathing stopped. The person hiding from the shadow stepped to reveal his face. Susan gasped. The man walked closer to her. She backed up with fright until she hit the golden-framed mirror. The man seemed to smile. He took of his hood, showing a baldhead covered in mystical tattoos. He lifted his pointy chin and looked straight into her eyes. His eyes were daggers in her heart and soul. His presence itself seemed to suck her soul away. As she stood there, she couldn’t keep her balance. She felt herself jerking back and forth, yet nothing else in the room moved. She began to float but her body was still shaking violently on the floor. She looked down and now saw her body lying limp on the floor. All of a sudden, she was sucked back into the gold-framed mirror like a vacuum.
She watched from the mirror as the man kneeled down. He bent his neck over and put his lips near the mouth of her lifeless body. He took a big breath and inhaled deeply. Susan watched as her lifeless body was dragged by the black talon of the ugly man. She tried to scream, yell, and punch, but nothing happened. The mirror was like a cage. She yelled again but the only thing she heard was the echo of her own voice. The man saw her struggling to say something. He put his finger to his lips. In a flash, she was silent. He gave a quick smirk and paraded out the room, and slammed the door shut. . .
She stood there, in the mirror, as the last tear that she would ever have, came dripping down her pale clean face.

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This article has 15 comments. Post your own now!

eileentotheleft said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I had a dream like this once. Then my mom got a job.
Kwoww replied...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Kwoww said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Most definitely ;) I wonder where I could have gotten those from! 
Kwoww said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 7:32 pm
ha! if matt has good sniffing qualities, why hasn't he sniffed out you yet?
eileentotheleft said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 12:39 pm
This is very persuasive. Like asian persuasion. I bet you're asian.
vampiresrock said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 10:32 am
it was okay...i felt like you wrote this with little or no feeling. but it was good.
Kwoww replied...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm
haha i know! my teacher made me submit this, it is definitely not one of my best works. :(
vampiresrock replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 10:39 am was good...u should check out my Midnight Wolf's my first draft, but i'm up to 70 typed pages...i'll check out more of your stuff if u have it and get back to you!
Kwoww replied...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Thanks! Your story was great! :)
vampiresrock replied...
Nov. 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Thank you sooo much! i havn't had much feedback, but that's always good to hear!


Macx14 said...
Nov. 21, 2010 at 8:25 pm
When I started reading this, I was alone in my room. Now I'm moved into the living room where my brothers and mom are. Dude, this is creepy. I love it! Awesome job with the imagery and originality.
Kwoww replied...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Thanks!! :)
Macx14 replied...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 1:56 pm
No problem! Maybe you could check out some of my stuff if you wanted. I'd really like your opinion!
Kwoww replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 12:38 am
I will! Thanks for reading mine!
Macx14 replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 2:22 pm
You're welcome!
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